


IronTaser Prompts

by InkStainedHands1177



Series: Prompts for All Occassions [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Darcy Lewis, BAMF Tony Stark, Darcy Lewis is the fandom bicycle and I love it, Darcy Lewis-centric, F/M, I'll add more as I go along, Tony Stark - centric, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, but there might be some vehemently said opinions about things, no character bashing of any kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 19,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22313365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkStainedHands1177/pseuds/InkStainedHands1177
Summary: A collection of one-shots with IronTaser at the heart.
Relationships: Tony Stark/Darcy Lewis, post-Tony Stark/Darcy Lewis, pre-Tony Stark/Darcy Lewis - Relationship
Series: Prompts for All Occassions [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588924
Comments: 250
Kudos: 203





	1. Misbehaving Pets (pre-Tony/Darcy)

Tony sighed as he leashed his dog, Pongo. Clint looked up at the same time Sam did. “What’s up, Tony? You’re taking him outside?”

“Yeah, he’s turned his nose up at the garden inside the tower. I’ll have to take him to the park.” Tony sighed again and looked at his dog. “I don’t know why I put up with you.” The dog, if a dog could, grinned, and he woofed before pulling Tony to the door. “Agh! I could be making a new engine with this time!” The door slammed behind them. Clint snickered and grinned a smirking Steve. They knew that Tony secretly loved that dog to death.

Meanwhile, Tony walked along the gravel paths in the park and then plopped himself down on the bank and started sketching an idea for a new targeting system.

Pongo though…Pongo was eyeing up a pretty Dalmatian female a little ways away. The dog looked at the female’s pet who turned out to be an equally pretty female human. With a huff, he turned back to look at his pet. The loud human, Pepper, had left his human a few weeks ago. Pongo had hated seeing his pet so alone. Everyone needed a mate…

That decided, he tensed and prepared for a sneak attack. Grabbing the pad of paper from Tony’s hands, he woofed playfully and bounced away.

“Pongo! Get back here! Give that back!” Tony stood and put his hands on his hips. “Pongo…” He gave his dog a warning look. Tony took a step and then tried to tackle his dog, but Pongo jumped away and closer to the bench the female human was sitting on.

Wagging his tail, Pongo nearly barked with glee when he saw his human look the female human over. At least they had seen each other now. He knew his human liked what he saw. With a happy woof, he tossed the pad onto the bench beside the woman. However, when Pongo glanced at the female dog, he saw they were gone.

Jumping, Tony tackled his dog and leashed him. “Come on, enough exercise for you, Pongo. We’re going home.” He muttered quieter, “So lonely even my dog is trying to hook me up with girls. Fuck my life.”

Giving his human a decidedly disappointed look, Pongo jerked away and raced after the woman. Tony had just grabbed the leash when Pongo got the bright idea to twist around them both.

“Oh!”

“Ah! I’m sorry! This isn’t how I usually meet women!”

“Let me go! N-no! OH!”

Pongo hadn’t meant for them to fall into the pond. He waded in sheepishly and grabbed the woman’s floating purse.

Meanwhile, Tony was apologizing and mentally preparing himself for the lawsuits and the fight with Pepper about it being his fault. He glowered at his dog and snatched the purse away.

“My dog is possessed. I promise, he really isn’t like this all the time. I don’t know what got into him! Is there…” Tony suddenly got a good look at the woman’s breasts, now plastered against her soaked blouse.

“No! Will you just please go away?!” Her blue eyes flashed and then she opened up her purse to grab her phone only to find it completely soaked. “Oh…”

“Damn, here! Use mine.” Tony gaped at his apparently  _ not  _ waterproof phone. His expression was so hilarious, that the woman couldn’t help but laugh. Tony started laughing with her. They both looked pretty ridiculous.

He noticed from the corner of his eye that Pongo and the other dog were making doe eyes at each other. He rolled his own eyes slightly.

“Listen, my car is just a little ways away. The least I can do is drop you off at your place or something. I really am sorry about your suit.” He glared at his dog.

Waving her hand, the woman sighed. “It’s fine. Just got off work anyways, so I won’t be late for anything. And yes, I’ll take you up on that offer.” She smiled hesitantly at him. “Thanks, Mr. Stark.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Call me Tony, Miss…”

“Just Darcy, please.” She looked at him appreciatively. “I like what soaked clothing does for you. It’s a nice effect.”

“Not nearly as nice as yours.” He grinned and then gallantly offered her his arm. She laughed brightly and accepted. Both dogs walked behind them, pleased at the result of Pongo’s hard work.


	2. Knitting a Scarf (post-Ultron: Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy learns to knit. It took Tony an embarrassingly long time to figure it out.

Tony had made good on his claim with Steve. He had settled down. Just not with Pepper. He was far more interested in the assistant to Foster in the lab across the hall from his.

They had gone out for a few dates, had a few nights in, and generally had a really great time with each other. Tony clicked around her. He understood, saw the world clearer. He was able to function better. She explained social rules, words that he shouldn’t say, jokes he shouldn’t make, boundaries he shouldn’t cross.

She held his nightmares at bay, totally willing to be the big spoon to him. She sang to him when his thrashing woke her up. He knew she sang to him. He woke up a few times when she was singing. But the times when he didn’t, the nightmares actually faded back under the bed, in the closets. They pulled away and let him sleep in peace.

Tony didn’t care if she was young enough to be his kid. He wasn’t going to fuck this up. He wasn’t going to let her go. He wasn’t going to let  _ anyone _ take her away from him, including himself. It had been a struggle, but Darcy had finally agreed to have Happy as her bodyguard.

Tony was thinking all these things as he stepped out of the shower and smiled at her. “You know, honey, I was thinking, some might say it’s a little early, but…” He smiled at her. “Do you wanna get married?”

Jerking her head up, Darcy stared at him for a second and then beamed at him. “I LOVE IT! When?!”

Shrugging, Tony chuckled and walked closer. “When would you want to? Spring? Winter? Fall?”

She tapped her chin with a knitting needle. “What about…well, how about we get married next month? Is that doable?”

He grinned wide. “Perfect for me. I’ll get Jarvis-” He inhaled sharply. Darcy bit her lip and cupped his cheek.

“You could always get the backup programs, Honey. He might have to re-learn a lot, but he’s not gone you know. You’ve still got him. Dust off the backups and install him again.”

“I…I’ll think about it.” She kissed him on his lips lightly. He smiled again, albeit not as widely. “Anyways, I’ll get Friday to work on that. Pepper will wanna help out too. So will Rhodey.”

Nodding, Darcy pecked another kiss on his lips before turning back to her knitting. Tony chuckled and looked at the tiny scarf she was making. “What’s with the mini scarf?”

Shrugging, Darcy grinned slyly up at him. “Well, I can’t make baby booties yet, so I just had to make do with a scarf.”

He froze, hand halfway in his sock drawer. “What?” His voice was hoarse. Darcy giggled.

“Personally, I think you’ll make an awesome daddy. You’ll spoil our child rotten with ponies and high tech toys. Pepper is going to harangue you about diabetes and too much candy. Rhodey will give our kid piggybacks and loads of gifts at Christmas. It’s a pity SI  _ still  _ doesn’t make baby bottles though.” She winked at her still stunned fiancé.

Suddenly, Tony gave a whoop, picked her up and twirled around the room with her. Darcy had dropped her knitting and held onto him, laughing brightly all the while.

“I’M GONNA BE A DAD!”

_ “Can I tell the good news, Sir?!” _ Even Friday sounded excited.

“Yes, Friday! Tell the Avengers, but I’ll tell Pep and Rhodey myself. I’m gonna be a dad!” He smiled at Darcy. “I’m gonna be a husband too…and they’re all invited to join me in celebrating my blessings.”

Darcy blushed at the heated looks he was giving her. She kissed him even as he set her on the bed and started pulling off her nightgown.


	3. Halloween Night (Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint: Parties! Yay!   
> Darcy: Costumes! Yay!!  
> Tony: Sex! YAY!!!

Tony bounced on the heels of his feet as he watched the Avengers enter the room, confusion on their faces. He grinned. “Okay! As you guys are new to knowing me, I will just assume that all you, except Darcy and Nat, don’t know what I’m about to tell you.”

He walked further into the room. “Every year, all the Stark Industries buildings around the world host a Halloween Trick or Treat for children related to the employees. Like sons or daughters or nieces or nephews. This provides the children a good source of candy, plus a safe environment for them to beg to their little hearts' content. I’m telling you this so you won’t think, come tomorrow, that the tower’s been overrun by thieving halfings.”

Steve grinned widely. “This is what some department stores did for their employees too! Can I help?!”

Giving him a surprised blink, Tony nodded. “Sure. You can dress in your suit or some other costume, but the kids will get a kick out of getting candy from Captain America. If any of you guys wanna volunteered too, that’s fine.” Clint shot his hand up.

“I would  _ so _ love to do that!” He thought about bringing his own kids but decided against it. He didn’t want the Avengers to know yet. However, since he couldn’t go home this year, he would gladly spend time with kids still.

Tony nodded and wrote his name down too. “Okay, you guys need to see Miss. Matthers at reception. She’s organizing everything along with Jarvis and Pepper.” They nodded.

Getting back to the topic at hand, Tony clapped his hands. “Also! I am throwing a Halloween bash at ten. It’s open to all the employees at the tower and goes on until two am. So you’re very welcome to come. If you don’t want to, then Jarvis can turn on the soundproofing in your room.”

Bruce frowned and straightened up. “We have soundproofing?!” Tony grinned.

“I might have forgotten to tell you, Brucie. Sorry!” Bruce started counting to ten. Tony looked around and then smiled widely. “No other questions? Terrific! See you guys later!” He walked out.

Clint frowned at Nat. “Why is he so perky?”

“He’s got a girlfriend,” Steve muttered not looking up from his drawing pad. Everyone stared at him in surprise. Not even Natasha knew this piece of info.

“Seriously?! Why didn’t he tell us?!”

“Cause his girlfriend’s Darcy, the assistant in the labs across the hall my mine,” Bruce mumbled into his coffee cup. “It started a few months ago. He didn’t want you guys to know because then Clint would have involved her in the prank war. He wanted to protect you all.”

“Protect?” Clint’s brows furrowed. Bruce snorted.

“Yeah. She’s ruthless.” He thought about the time he made a comment about her breasts being the size of Tony’s ego. Tony must have told her about it, because the next time she saw him, she was wearing a shirt that had twin hulk faces on each boob. She hung out in his lab the entire day bending over and picking things up for him, organizing papers for him, being his lab assistant but Bruce hadn’t gotten much work down. Her skirt had been practically underwear and was Hulk green. He had been so flustered and flushed with awkward embarrassment when she walked right up to him and whispered into his ear.  _ “Don’t insult my boyfriend, and don’t make comments about things you can’t have. Understand?” _ He never crossed her again.

“Let’s just say that she can take one look at you and know instantly how to break you.” Steve mumbled, his own ears going bright red. Bruce wondered again what Steve did to get punished.

~the next night~

Darcy grinned as she tugged a little on the neon black and orange, thigh-high, fishnets that were being held up by black garter belts in plain view. Her black, ruffle skirt was practically a pretty piece of underwear. Her top was a very sexy corset made of orange satin, that pushed her girls up. The corset was held together by black strings at the back, crisscrossing with a little bow at the bottom of it. Straightening her witch’s hat, and grabbing her broom, Darcy smirked as she made her way into the Lounge area where the party was being held.

Steve saw her first and choked on his drink. He flushed bright red and turned away promptly. Darcy smirked at him. He had learned his lesson for talking down to Tony and to not underestimate her. Darcy had gotten ahold of his phone and put a woman’s orgasm noise for his text alert. And every time someone called him it was a woman screaming, “Steve! Harder! Please! Faster! AH-H! Don’t stop! Oh! Don’t stop! STEVE!”

It had gone off during an Avengers’ meeting once. Tony had almost suffocated while laughing. Bruce was viciously glad that Darcy had only gone into his lab instead of taking it out to the public eye.

Darcy looked around and then grinned as she saw her prey, ahem,  _ boyfriend.  _ She walked over to him.

“Hey, Tony…” She couldn’t help but laugh when he turned around and saw her.

“Hot damn…” He looked her up and down and then smiled slowly. “Whelp…gotta go, Rhodes. See ya next year!” He grabbed Darcy by the waist and high tailed it out of the lounge. Darcy didn’t even bother arguing. Tony would help her get back into the costume, and they’d join the party later.

That was the last thought Darcy had about that. Tony’s hands wandered down to her bottom and cupped both cheeks. He pulled her up and close to him and kissed her.

When they got to their room, he grinned. “Jarvis, put on the soundproofing.”


	4. In A Lonely Place (pre-Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a fight with Pepper, Tony goes for a ride and winds up in the arms of a stranger...a lovely stranger.

Tony stared at his wrench and refused to think about how ominous the click of the door latch sounded when Pepper walked out the front door. He refused to think about their fight that happened two days ago. He refused to think about how this might be the end. He refused to think about it.

He dropped the wrench and moved to the liquor cabinet but stopped. Was that all he was worth? Soaking his brain in alcohol every time something didn’t go his way? Closing his hand into a tight fist, he walked out of the shop, trusting Jarvis to lock everything down for him. He packed an overnight back, left his home, jumped into his nearest car, and started driving.

He didn’t know where he was going. He got to a tollbooth and paid without really caring where he was heading. He kept driving.

He stopped at a restaurant and had some coffee before pulling back onto the interstate. He kept driving.

The wind cleared his head. He thought about repulsors and engines and targeting systems. He thought about wiring for his gauntlet. He thought about anything and everything except Pepper walking out.

He kept driving.

He drove all through the night and finally realized that he was in Vegas. With a snort, he pulled up to a fancy hotel, didn’t care what it was and let the valet parking deal with his car. Once he got his hotel room booked, he moved straight for the bar and sat down. He looked around the bar and scoffed bitterly when he realized how hopping it was. Full of people who were having a good time.

A voice spoke up on his left. “It’s amazing how a place so full of people and noise and laughter can be the loneliest place in the world.” He turned and blinked in surprise to find a very beautiful brunette. She was dressed in a purple, satin blouse and tight, black dress pants with black, strappy, high heels. She answered his unspoken question. “He never showed up. What about you?” Her eyes held laughter and pain. An interesting combination.

“She walked out.”

“She’s an idiot.”

“No, she just has good survival instincts. I’m a shitty life partner. Your guy though…he’s just blind.”

The woman shrugged. “Beauty is only skin deep. Apparently, he liked me cause I reminded him of some dead girlfriend. He called me up, said he couldn’t do that to me, and never showed.” She lifted her hands and shrugged. “What’s a girl to do?”

“He’s an idiot.”

“What’s your story?”

“I’m the idiot.”

She barked a laugh. Tony sighed and nodded to the bartender when he delivered his drink. The girl pointed on her menu to what she wanted and then turned back to Tony.

“Suffice it to say that I don’t deal with emotions very well. I’m fine identifying them within others, but I can’t understand them. I don’t…” He sighed. “She gets angry at something I said. I don’t know what I said to make her that angry. My friends get frustrated with me for not opening up to them. I don’t know  _ how _ !”

“Did you have trouble making eye contact with people while talking to them back when you were a child?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you ever speak in a monotone or not understand that a person was even angry at you? Hands on the hips, sighing, those messages didn’t compute to you?”

“Yeah. Exactly.”

She hummed. “You might have Asperger Syndrome. I’m no doctor so don’t go taking meds on my word.” She chuckled. “But my cousin was diagnosed with it, and you sound a lot like him.”

“Huh…never thought about…that.” He frowned into his drink. “It might not be me, just my brain?”

“Yeah.” She smiled at him and then looked at the dance floor. “Wanna dance?”

He smiled at her. “Sure.” They got off their stools and left their empty drinks behind. She looked at him with a confused smile.

“It’s so dark in here, but I swear I’ve heard your voice before…”

He chuckled and held her closer so she couldn’t study his face. “Let’s leave that for the daylight, okay?”

She melted into his embrace. “Sure.” They kept dancing.

He could hear her softly singing the lyrics to the song that was playing. He smiled and for the first time this night, relaxed.

They didn’t end the night with sex. They were planning to, but they couldn’t stop talking. About everything. They fell asleep on his bed and woke up with the sun in their eyes, and still clothed.

Tony chuckled. “For the first time in my life, I brought a girl to my room, didn’t have sex with her, and woke up more refreshed and satisfied than before.”

The woman smiled and turned over to look at him. Her dark eyes widened in surprise and then went back to normal. “Hello there.” She stretched. “I’m glad I hadn’t recognized you. I would have ruined the night utterly with a fangirl squeal and ripped your clothes off.”

He barked a laugh and watched as she walked into the bathroom to wash her face of makeup. When she came back out, she looked just as pretty as before but softer. The makeup added sharp lines and a formal look to her.

“You’re beautiful.” He looked at her and then smiled as he relaxed against the bed.

“And you’re taken.” She smiled at him sadly. “But that doesn’t alter your hot points.”

Lifting an eyebrow, Tony smirked. “Points?”

“My dear man, the world is comprised of a point system. You take yourself for instance. Hot Points are a total of Smarts, Looks, Voice, and Bearing. You got a 10/10 in smarts, a 10/10 in looks, a 9/10 in voice, and a 10/10 in bearing.” She grinned cheekily at him.

“Only a nine?!” He gave her a mock affronted huff. She giggled lightly.

“Well, you don’t have an accent, and I’m a sucker for British accents, but overall, your voice is velvet, so I’ll let it slide.”

“Well, I won’t let you talk to my AI butler. You’ll run away with him.” He smirked as her eyes lit up.

“He’s got an accent?! I’ll marry him!” He threw a pillow at her. She caught it and laughed lightly. “How long you staying in Vegas?”

“Don’t know.” He shrugged. “My house in Malibu is too full of memories, and my house in New York is too full of Avengers.”

She nodded and then cleared her throat. “Well, my apartment building in DC has the man who stood me up. Soo, no going back there for a while.”

Tony scoffed. “He is such an idiot for leaving you.” He pulled off his tie and then walked into his closet to change clothes. Darcy sighed.

“I think so too.”

Tony started laughing at her candidness. He began thinking about how he could see her again…but Pepper’s face popped up in his mind. He bit his lip. The woman in his room…he frowned. “Hey, I don’t even know your name!”

“It’s Darcy Lewis!” She called back. “Is it okay if I call for room service?”

“Definitely!” He pulled on his new shirt and smiled.  _ Darcy… _ He liked her. A lot.


	5. Shh! It’s a library! (AU High School, pre-Darcy/Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony meets Darcy.   
> The End.

Darcy glanced up and froze when the most popular guy in school sat at her table in the library. “Um…sorry?”

“It’s fine.” He didn’t look up from his books.

“No. Sorry as in what the fuck are you doing at this table? This is the nerd table. It’s cursed.” She gave him an unimpressed look.

Snorting, Tony Stark finally looked up from his book - advanced quantum physics?!- to look at her. “I am sitting here because you are the one human on this planet who doesn’t want anything from me.” He gave her a fake smile and went back to reading.

“Oh. Well, in that case, pass me my books.” He did as she asked, and they went back to studying.

“You know…most girls would be salivating over being so close to me. Begging me to take them.”

“Can’t do that. It would damage the books.” He snorted.

“I wouldn’t mind, you know.”

“Course you wouldn’t. You’re narcissistic.”

“Oi! Rude. So rude.” He wagged a finger at her.

She snorted and turned the page of her book. “Besides, I would top.”

“Nope.” He smirked at her before closing his book and writing down his notes.

“Oh please, Tony, I would have you on this table and make you beg me to let you cum, and you’d  _ love  _ it.”

He cleared his throat. “I would sit you down on this table, spread your legs and eat you out right here in broad daylight and make you scream and clench around my tongue.” Tony gave her a heated look.

Grinning from ear to ear, Darcy gave him a fake scandalized look and lifted her finger to her lips. “Shh! It’s a library! No screaming here!”

He looked at her intently. “Wanna go to my dorm room then?”

“Depends. Is this gonna be a one-time thing?”

He smiled at her softly and shook his head. “Not if I can help it. I’d be a moron to let you go, Darcy Lewis. And that isn’t possible, because I’m a genius.”

She stood up and packed her things away. “Okay then. Let’s go.” He grinned brightly and helped her.


	6. The moon cherishes their memory (past-Darcy/Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Darcy have lived a full life. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets his happy, full life ending (unlike what Marvel did to him! I am no so cruel!).  
> Ink...

Artemis smiled as her silver light washed the world once more. She glanced, as ever, towards the now empty tower in New York. Sighing, the virgin goddess took the form of a young woman and set foot on the top of the tower. She watched, silent and invisible, the man named Tony Stark. He was at the edge of the tower’s roof. Thinking.

With a sharp frown, Artemis sent a sliver of thought to the young woman who had stormed out. She called her to come back.

The door opened as Tony Stark took yet another hesitant step towards…no pain.

“TONY! NO!” Artemis smiled as she watched the couple hold each other. Content that she had done enough, she slipped back up to her perch in the stars and watched from a distance.

She watched as Darcy Lewis gave Tony a chance to explain. She watched as Tony Stark listened to Darcy explain.

_ If only mortals would use words and patience instead of being so quick to judge and feel judged. If only they would cease their insensitive words, and simply listen… _ Artemis, though sworn a virgin, understood the beauty that was essentially Aphrodite. The beauty of love. True, pure, deep love.

She smiled and shined brighter, enjoying how Tony courted his lover. How Darcy smiled and laughed at him. How they brought each other back from the brink of despair time and time again. How Tony saved Darcy’s life during a battle. How Darcy rewarded him with pop tarts whenever Tony did something to commend. And how she used wrenches as microphones to sing with whenever Tony needed to be cheered up. How Tony would give her massages and rub her feet whenever she was past exhausted from working.

Every little thing they did for each other that showed their love, Artemis enjoyed witnessing.

And as the decades passed, Artemis loved, even more, the delicate balance and bond that the two formed together, a bond made of vibranium threads. So strongly woven that not even the Three Fates could cut it.

As the two mortals died together in bed while asleep, Artemis smiled sadly and nodded to herself. “I will cherish your memory…”


	7. They rested awhile (Wonderland AU- Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve falls and meets a...cat?

Steve jumped when a young woman appeared on the tree bough above him. “And who are you?”

“I…I’m Steve. I was looking for my cousin, Alice. I saw her fall and tried to help but I fell in too. Do you know where she is? And how can all this be inside a rabbit hole?”

“Rude.” The girl floated down and then fixed her hair around her- were those cat ears?!! 

“I’m sorry?”

“I said ‘rude.”

Steve rubbed at his eyes. “Why?”

“Because you didn’t ask for my name, and you didn’t ask if I wanted to hear your angst.” She flicked her tail at him and sighed ponderously. “Fine! Even though you were rude I’ll take you to the tea party. The Hatter serves the best milk tea anyways. The March Hare was there, and he is getting along great with the Caterpillar. Those two knew everything that will go on in Red Queen Wanda’s lands.” 

“I’m sorry-”

“Forgiven!” She pranced away.

“No, I-”

“You don’t want to be forgiven?” She gave him a wide eyed smile. 

“No, I want to know your name!”

“Too late! Too late! That came first and now it’ll come last since you missed it. Wait for it to come around again!” She danced away and jumped straight into the lap of her mate, the March Hare. “Anthony!” She beamed at the Hatter. “Hello James.”

The Hatter- really a man named James Barnes (he came from a wood far away and was trapped here by another evil queen)- smiled at her. “Hello, Darcy.”

“This one will be looking for his cousin, who fell in through the rabbit hole before he did when he was trying to rescue her. Now he was looking for her, but he couldn’t find her. He needs Anthony’s help in getting to where the Caterpillar Vision was.”

“Darling,” Anthony gave her a look. “You’re having trouble with your tenses again. I keep telling you, stick to the past tense and second person. It’s much easier to confuse people.”

Darcy pouted and then gave her Tony a kiss. The Hatter sighed and stood up. “Don’t mind them. They’re mad for each other, which makes them the best kind of mad. I’ll take you to the Caterpillar. He has good influence with the Red Queen.”

“Thank you.” Steve smiled at the Hatter in relief. “You remind me of someone…”

“That’s my face. I remind everyone of everyone.” They walked away, leaving Darcy and Anthony alone with the Mousy man named Bruce. 


	8. Technical Difficulties (pre-Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony meets Darcy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A retelling of Iron Man III. ; D  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Ink...

Darcy was exasperated with herself and her homework. But mostly she was exasperated with her homework and her teacher who clearly was doing some sort of inhumane social experiment on university students and depression. 

Throwing her Advanced statistics book across the room, she jumped up and grabbed her pillow before screaming into it. She couldn’t access SPSS without having to pay out of pocket for it since she wasn’t able to access a school computer.  _ Who’s bright idea was it for me to come home and visit the fam in Tennessee again? _

Suddenly though, there was an almighty crash in her parents’ backyard. Growing nervous (there hadn’t been any honking so a car crash was doubtful), and  _ considering her life _ , a UFO crash was infinitely more likely. 

Grabbing her little brother’s metal baseball bat from the closet, Darcy moved down the hall and to the backyard. When she saw nothing there except the desolation of her mother’s flower bed, Darcy narrowed her eyes. The fence wasn’t broken, so nothing charged through that way. The only other way was from the air. UFO was looking more and more likely then.

Stepping closer to her now open garage door, Darcy wondered if she should call Agent iPod thief (his death was a sham to anyone who knew where to look). 

Stepping into the garage, Darcy flicked on the main lights and stared at the mangled and scratched up suit of Iron Man armor on her dad’s nap couch. She completely ignored Tony Stark, who was sitting at her desk with her pair of pliers in his hands, as she made a beeline for the suit. “Oh you poor baby! What did big bad Stark do to you?!”

“Excuse me!”

Sitting on the suit’s lap, Darcy gave Tony a glare. “Tony Stark. Technically Iron Man.” She remembered her dad making a comment about the death of Stark and exhaled gustily. “Technically dead too. Alright, what did you do this time? Beside breaking innocent suits of armor.”

“Who are you?!”

“Darcy Lewis, Lightning Sister to Thor, Wrangler of Wandering Wizards of Science, Intern of Awesomeness- I’m getting a Masters in that mind you- and victim of SHIELD’s iPod thieving ways.”

Tony gaped at her and then burst out laughing before standing up and approaching her. “You, Darcy Lewis, are my favorite person. We are second best friends now.”

She arched an eyebrow at him. “And what happened to best friends?”

“Rhodey has that slot. Sorry.”

“Huh, okay then. I’ll settle for girlfriend.” Darcy smirked at him slowly, looking him up and down.

“Erm…pretty sure that Pepper has that slot.”

Darcy shrugged. “Okay then. Slave Master.”

“WHAT?!”

“I’ve always wanted a genius slave. Make me a sandwich.” She walked off to grab some spare parts to fix the suit with. When she came back, Darcy frowned. “Where’s my sandwich?”


	9. Paintbrush (pre-Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robo-dogs, paintbrushes, and kisses. Could Darcy ask for more?

Darcy scowled as she stared at the flying electro dogs. “Seriously? I never used to hate dogs, but now this bozo has to corrupt canines by making destructo dogs with laser eyes?!” She hid in the art and supply store while the streets and cars were blown up. 

_ Beep. Beep. Beep. _

“Crap.” Turning slowly, Darcy stared at the robo-mutt, which was also staring at her with it’s red eyes. Red glowing eyes. Red glowing eyes that were activating lasers. “Crap.”

A whine appeared behind her and suddenly the robo-mutt was scrap. Turning fast, Darcy gasped.

“I know! I know! Tony Stark is here to rescue-”

Moving faster than she could think, Darcy grabbed a random pointed object and stabbed the dog sneaking up on Stark. When she had stabbed it seven times she straightened and exhaled. “Paintbrushes. Never leave home without them.” 

“Er…yeah. Is there something wrong with me that I find you scrapping a mechanical mutt to save my life really sexy?”

“Don’t know about that, but I wasn’t doing it for you.” Darcy pushed her hair out of her face and eyed his armor. “That armor of yours is too beautiful to die.”

The faceplate flipped up and Tony gave her an unimpressed look. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. I’m a mechanic’s daughter. I should know about gears and wires, and that armor shouldn’t even be let out of the protective case, much less have you drive it. Tragedy.”

Tony eyed her and then hummed before stepping closer and then faltering. “Don’t need that anymore, yeah?” He snatched the mangled paintbrush from her hand before tossing it over his shoulder. “There. Now that you’re unarmed,” with that, he pulled her into a kiss.

Darcy stared at him in a daze when it was over. “Why?”

“Isn’t that what heroines do for their heroes? I didn’t want you to feel gypped.” That grin was a smug one. Darcy swallowed and then nodded.

“Can I have another?”

“On the house.”

“Thanks.” He pulled her into another kiss.


	10. Treasure Found (kidAU pre-Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's already found his treasure.

“Darcy?! Tony?!” Maria huffed softly and then turned to look at Jarvis. “I can’t imagine where they’ve gotten to.”

“Well, it is a large estate.” Edwin Jarvis frowned in concern. “I’ll take the gold cart out and look for them.”

“I can’t believe Howard actually bought a golf cart.” Maria rolled her eyes and re-entered the kitchen. “Thank you, Edwin.”

“A pleasure madam.” Edwin set his teatowel on the kitchen counter and then hurried out with the keys to the golf cart in hand. He finally found them in the azalea bushes beside the gardener’s shed. “Oh dear. Master Tony, just what do you think you are doing?”

The boy looked up at the butler with a grin. “Darce and I are digging for buried treasure! We already found a lot of bottles!”

“Yeah, but there weren’t any messages in them.” Darcy Lewis- the housekeeper’s daughter- lifted up one of the bottles. Edwin felt his eyebrows shoot up. This was all the proof he needed to know that the gardener was drinking Master Howard’s personal supply of alcohol. 

“Ah. Well, treasure hunting must be delayed for baths and lunch. Come on.” He clapped his hands and then ushered the children up to Tony’s bedroom so they wouldn’t be seen by either child’s mother. Edwin didn’t want the kids being punished for something that could easily be remedied with a shovel, and they did help solve the mystery of the stock shortage. When they were cleaned up and Darcy was taken home, Tony leaned out the window slightly and watched her mother drive off with his friend. 

“Uncle Edwin?”

“Yes, Master Tony?”

“Darcy was the one who wanted to search for buried treasure. I wasn’t interested.”

“Why is that?” Edwin continued folding Tony’s clothes. 

Tony smiled faintly and rested his chin on his folded hands on the windowsill, knees on the carpet. The car drove out of sight. “Cause I already found treasure.”

Edwin paused and studied the rather brilliant young boy. “Oh?”

“Yeah. Darcy.” Tony turned and stared up at Edwin, complete seriousness in his eyes. “I’m gonna marry her when I become an adult. I’m gonna make her Mrs Darcy Stark.”

Feeling stunned, Edwin fought the smile creeping onto his face. “And why do you want to marry her?”

Tony turned back to stare out the window. “Cause she’s my treasure. She wasn’t buried anywhere, but I found her just the same. And I’m gonna marry her.”


	11. Legendary Creature (pre-Toni/Daryl)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When in doubt, blame the sorcerer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Genderbending!! Cause I wanted to! Yay!  
> Sorry for this being a day late...  
> Hope you all enjoy!  
> Ink...

“Oh look what you’ve done now!” Toni scowled at Stephen Strange. 

Looking supremely unconcerned, Stephen shrugged. “I told you not to mess with my sling ring.”

“Where are we?” Toni swallowed and tried not to go into a panic attack. She had a handle on space exploration. She did. She _did_!

“Some unknown dimension.” Stephen paused and then grabbed Toni and pulled her closer and behind him. Suddenly a young male looking creature peeked out at them. 

“Who are you?” His voice was soft.

Stephen swallowed. “I am Doctor Strange. This is Antonia Stark. We are from another land and are just visiting. If you wish us to leave, then we shall. We do not want to make any trouble or issue.”

“There is no issue.” The young male stepped closer. He was strange to look at. Hair to his hips and completely silver, like liquid mercury, and skin as truly white as fresh fallen snow. His eyes were completely black, no white or iris. He stared at Toni with fascination. “What are you wearing on your head?”

“Hair?” She grimaced when Stephen nudged him. “Erm, I’m not wearing anything. It’s just my hair. Yikes.” Keeping completely calm, she glowered at a sniggering Stephen even as the strange male started tugging slightly on her hair and sniffing at it. “Stephen, anytime now.”

“My name is not Stephen. It is Daryl, son of Lewis.” He blinked at Toni and then smiled. “You are a female, yes?”

“Erm, yeah.”

“Females are very rare in this land. What race are you?”

“Human.”

“What?!” Daryl stared at Toni in awe. “I have only heard of Humans in myths! They are creatures of legend only among our people!”

“And who are your people?” Stephen blinked at him.

“We are Unicorns. We can take many forms besides our birth form. I am in what the historians call a Human form.” He turned his silver eyes on Toni once more. “I must show you to my family! They won’t forgive me if I let you leave without meeting them!” He grabbed her hand, opened a silver portal, and they were gone. 

But before the portal closed, Toni screamed at Stephen, “I’D LIKE TO REPORT AN ABDUCTION!”


	12. Underground (Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to visit Darcy's cousin goes slightly wrong. For the record, it's Tony's fault.

“This is your fault.” Darcy scowled at Tony. “I’m blaming you.”

“How is it my fault?”

“It was your idea.”

“It was my idea to have a picnic. It was your idea to visit your cousin, Bruce Wayne.” Tony scowled and then stilled when he realized they had entered a workshop. 

“Well, it was your idea to mess with that boarded up well.” Darcy hadn't looked up from the tear in her jeans.

Speaking numbly as he took in what he was seeing, Tony's reply was automatic. “The planks were rotted through, and I was only examining it. It was your idea to lose your balance.”

“How is an accident an idea?!” Darcy glowered at him and frowned when he raised his hand.

“Darcy, we might want to shelve this argument for later. Right now we must interrupt this program for a special news broadcast.” He pointed ahead, and finally, Darcy turned away from him and stared at the massive underground cavern they were in. A massive underground cavern filled with…Batman memorabilia.

Swallowing, Darcy pulled Tony closer. “Either my cousin has a very frightening fetish or he’s Batman.”

“Yeah…”


	13. He died. I smiled. (Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy meets the Guardians of the Galaxy, oh and Thanos too.

Darcy breathed out slowly as she swiftly cut off Thanos' hand and then shoved the sword straight through his chest and then slowly pulled the long sword from out of Thanos’ body. The Titan gasped brokenly before staring wildly in her direction and falling over. Tony pulled the glove off the massive creature's hand and tossed it to Dr. Strange who fumbled catching it because he was so shocked at Thanos’ sudden death. 

“Stealth Suit. Funny how no one asked me about that again.” Tony pulled Darcy into a kiss the moment she disabled the retro-reflective paneling in the suit that Tony had given her. She kissed him intently over the dying body of Thanos. 

Pulling away, Darcy smiled down at Thanos. “And this is how Thanos the Mad Titan dies.” 

Wrapping an arm around her waist, Tony grinned sharply. “In the ruins of his homeworld with no one to mourn him.”

“What the hell just happened? Who is she? What did she just do?!” Quill pointed at Darcy. “How did she get here?!”

“I followed Tony up to the Space Donut and stayed in the background while he and Junior dealt with Squidward. I was invisible the entire time, cause you know, Thanos can’t manipulate the reality of a person he doesn’t know is there.” She grinned brightly. “As for what just happened.” She pointed her nano-sword at the corpse of Thanos. “He died. I smiled.”

“You just assassinated the biggest villain in the world.” Strange stared at her.

Tony hummed. “So sexy.”

Laughing, Darcy pulled him into another kiss. “Let’s go home on that Milano Cookie ship.” She shot Quill a look. “And you  _ better _ have Milano Cookies in there.”

Drax frowned. “What is a Milano Cookie?”

Both Tony and Darcy looked at Drax with shock. Even Peter Parker and Stephen Strange looked stunned. Darcy sniffled. “You poor, poor muscly tattooed alien.” She turned and stared at Tony. “We  _ must _ rectify this travesty.”

He nodded sagely. “We must.”

Strange facepalmed.


	14. Wrangled (pre-Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy never realized a message on social media could catch the attention of such a powerful person and change her life so much.

Jane stared on as she and Darcy watched the Avengers be pulled apart because of miscommunication, lies, and an insane but clever bastard with a twisted chip on his shoulder.

“What is wrong with Stark?! Can’t he see that Captain America is only doing what needs to be done?! That whole shitshow at the airport was completely avoidable! Stark is such a hot head! He never listens to anyone!”

Darcy blinked at her and then exhaled slowly. It was perhaps because of her upbringing, but Darcy knew that Stark simply wanted order and balance again in his life. He wanted to do the right thing and every time he tried, it blew up in his face. When he was younger, people wanted him to be mature and follow orders. When he got older, he tried to follow the rules and everyone got pissy at him for trusting over a hundred governments to agree on something. Darcy was aware of politics. Stark didn’t do anything  _ bad _ . He simply trusted the wrong people and reached the end of his rope. 

Shaking her head, Darcy knew that Jane simply hated Tony Stark because she wanted to, there wasn’t much of a good reason from her friend. Stark had an abrasive attitude, so he was hateable. End of story. Didn’t stop Darcy from feeling very sorry for him. Getting up off the couch, Darcy shot a look at Jane and then hurried into the kitchen so her friend wouldn’t see what she was doing. She shot him a tweet on his page. 

_ ‘You’re getting a lot of flack for trying to do the right thing. How are you to be blamed for trying to follow the laws set in place? It’s unreasonable of these guys to get pissy. #IgnoreTheIdiocy #Caution:MoronIsContagious #KeepCalmAndScience!On’ _

That sent, Darcy put the matter out of her head. Exhaling, Darcy sat down at the dining room table and started editing Jane’s papers. They worked for SI, but Darcy had used her private Twitter account. Stark wouldn’t know it was her.  Except, he did. Or rather, Pepper Potts did. And the woman promptly hired Darcy to wrangle Tony as well as Jane, paying her double her usual pay. And if that wasn’t incentive to accept the promotion, then Darcy didn’t know what was.

“Tony! This is Darcy Lewis.” Pepper Potts led Darcy into Tony’s workshop. “SI is still swamped with work and innovations, and I think Darcy would be an excellent assistant for you. She’s organized, has lots of experience with science as Dr. Foster’s assistant, and has a good head on her shoulders. Also, she’s Thor’s close friend, so she can keep secrets.” Pepper looked at her best friend with a hidden smile. Tony would not know what hit him.

His ‘Pretty Woman Radar’ went straight up, and Tony gave Darcy a look of interest. His eyes gleamed, and he opened his mouth, but Darcy spoke first. She smiled at Tony Stark and shook his hand. “Friday has been keeping me up to date on your regular activities. Unlike Jane, you get plenty of sun and exercise. However, you don’t have a balanced diet, and you don’t drink enough water. I’m Darcy Lewis, and I will be your caretaker.”

Smile shrinking a few teeth, Tony looked at the madly grinning and retreating figure of Pepper. “Pep, what have you done to me?! Pepper? Pepper! Don’t leave me!”

Darcy evilly wrung her hands. “Congratulations, Tony Stark. Your science will now be wrangled.”

He stared at her in horror. 


	15. Lonely Together Pt 2 (pre-Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of In A Lonely Place ; D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update!  
> Ink...

He walked out when she hung up. “Didn’t know what you liked, so I just ordered you a pot of coffee, and a classic western breakfast.” He nodded.

“Sounds perfect. Thanks.” She grinned at him and then settled herself into a chair and steepled her hands and looked at him. He stared back at her.

“We can’t sleep together.” She spoke up abruptly. “I won’t ask you to break up with Ms. Potts. I won’t do that to you or her. I’m fine with continuing our chats and conversations though. That’s harmless enough.” She smiled at him hesitantly.

With a sigh, he nodded and slouched into his chair opposite her. “I want to know you better, but you’re right. If Pepper breaks up with me, then we’ll talk shop, but until then, let’s just friend zone ourselves.”

She smiled at him and then abruptly changed the subject and started talking about politics and how idiotic red tape and bureaucracy was. Tony poured them both coffee and watched her talk about her passion animatedly. She was a poli sci major and loved it.

“You do realize that most of those guys are just narcissists? Right?” He chuckled as she kept right on talking, not expecting him to answer. He munched on his breakfast and basked in the glow of Darcy’s zeal. He really did like her.

They kept talking until housekeeping interrupted them. Tony frowned as he opened the door. It wasn’t housekeeping.

He heard Darcy curse behind him just as the woman pulled out a gun. Jumping to the side, Tony reflexively tried to summon his suit, but realized that the suitcase was in his closet.

As he was struggling with the woman’s gun, he saw Darcy come up behind the woman and smack her in the back of the head with his Iron Man suit-case.

She grabbed the gun from the floor and gestured to Tony to suit up. “Go! I’ll be fine. I know how to shoot a gun. Not helpless. There might be more of them out there. I’ll hole myself up in here. Go do what you do best and be a genius hero.” She grinned, eyes bright from adrenaline. Tony was stunned.

Pepper would be ranting about how dangerous living with him was right about now.

Numbly, he pulled on his suit and raced out. “Jarvis, ID hostiles.”

_ “Searching now, Sir.” _

~twenty minutes later~

Darcy looked up as the door opened. Tony was tired and holding a partially closed suit-case. The suit had been damaged and would only close halfway.

“Dude, I  _ love _ that flip you did.” She grinned.

He blinked at her, once again shocked at her reaction. “You aren’t petrified?”

Frowning, she tilted her head at him. “Fear is illogical, honestly. What’s it gonna do for me? If I’m scared, then it’ll only stop me from taking the necessary risks to survive. Being afraid for you, while a nice sentiment, doesn’t keep you alive anymore than biting my nails keeps them long.”

Tony threw his head back and laughed in relief. “YES! You  _ need _ to meet Pepper.” He blinked and then shook his head. “No. Actually, you don’t meet Pepper. Not ever. Not no how.”

Grinning and getting up lazily, Darcy walked closer to him and untied his tie. “Whelp, guess that’s decided. Pepper Potts will never know that little old me even exists until you find it fit to introduce us. However, that will only come when you’re willing to actually friend zone me.” He exhaled slowly and shakily as she pulled his tie off. “I’ve got a bath, nice and hot for you. Go wash. You need to relax.”

He shook his head. “You are so different from Pep, it’s incredible.”

Cocking her hip, Darcy frowned. “Seems to me that woman should either get her own suit and join you, or stop complaining and skyrocketing your stress levels. You deal with enough shit from the guilt of not saving everyone as it is!” She rolled her eyes and snorted. “What-fucking-ever. S’not my problem. You need to tell her to back off her over possessive streak. It’s not sexy.”

Tony gaped at Darcy. “How did you know I have guilt?”

“Uh  _ duh _ , doesn’t  _ every _ superhero have guilt? It’s like in the job description or something.” She rolled her eyes and turned away. “Now go shower. You stink.”

He laughed incredulously and walked away. Darcy pulled up her phone and researched how to stitch a wound close. She would have to learn first aid and fast if what she’d learned about Tony’s girl was anything to go by.

_ Let's see, one, complains to Tony about being a danger magnet, two, never commends him for anything good he does, three, nit picks him for all the mistakes he makes, four, makes him uneasy about opening up, five, never does anything nice for him, and six focuses more on herself than on the relationship’s survival. Overall, a mean and selfish woman who couldn’t care less about Tony’s emotional wellbeing and only focuses on external issues. A short-sighted woman who might care, but doesn’t care enough.  _ Darcy snorted and rolled her eyes. Darcy also  _ wasn’t  _ jealous. Not one bit. Nope. No bias from her.

~meanwhile~

Tony was weighing the pros and cons of breaking up with Pepper.  _ She’s put up with so much for me though. I couldn’t do that to her… _ He frowned and stared at the soapy hot water.

“But…she’d be happier with someone else, and I’d be happier with someone else.”  _ Like Darcy. _

He stared at the opposite wall of his bath and then sighed. “I’ll give her another chance. She’s given me so many.”

Twenty minutes later, Tony walked out to find Darcy had written him a note. 

_ ‘Gone to my own hotel to change. Spending the night in the same outfit is icky. Be back in a few.’ _ She had written down her phone number for him. Smiling, he pocketed the note and waited for her. 

She returned only a few moments later with a large grin on her face.

They talked until the sunset and then went out to a nearby casino. Darcy was laughing and pointing out random observations about people that kept Tony in stitches the whole time.

He pulled her onto the dance floor and danced until the lights dimmed and the screen of Time Square turned on. It was a replay just for fun.

They paused to watch the ball and joined in on the countdown.

“THREE! TWO! ONE!  **HAPPY NEW YEAR!** ”

Tony looked down at her and in a surge of adrenaline, affection, and alcohol pulled Darcy close and kissed her. They kissed until the minute had passed. Tony pulled back and swallowed. Darcy laughed and wiped his lips with napkin from their table. 

“Thanks!”

“What?!” The people around them were singing and screaming. 

“I SAID THANK YOU! FOR THE NEW YEAR’S KISS! NO BAD LUCK FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR NOW!”

He grinned, glad that she had taken it that way. Quickly, he wrapped an arm around her, paid the tab, and rushed outside to where it was slightly less insane. They looked at each other for a long moment and then burst out laughing for no reason.

Tony felt… Well, he felt clean again when with Darcy. 


	16. Crush (Tony/Darcy; Matchmaking Jane)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane is really good at math. Lonely Person A plus Lonely Person B equals Happy Couple.  
> Simple arithmetic really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late and sporadic updates. I'll try to be more regular once more.  
> Thank you all for your patience and comments and kudos!  
> Ink...

Jane rolled her eyes as she stared at her best friend and sometimes fellow lunatic, Darcy Lewis. “You’re staring again.”

Not taking her eyes off the man across the hallway of the R&D section of the Avengers Compound, Darcy hummed. “No I’m not. I’m…people watching.”

“There’s only one person in that lab, Darcy.”

“Then I’m ‘person watching’.”

“Otherwise known as stalking.” Jane smirked suddenly and looked up from her scanners. “Or should I say Starking?”

Finally pulling her eyes away from the man (he was in a fucking black tank top and those arms were glistening with sweat! No one could blame her!), Darcy scowled at her sometimes friend and most times ‘Biggest Regret Ever’… “Ha fucking ha.” She sniffed. “Besides. I wasn’t staring too much. I was just…” She grabbed her iPod. “Gazing.”

“Uh huh.” Jane lifted an eyebrow that was clearly the epitome of ‘unimpressed’. “You were  _ drooling _ .”

Flushing, Darcy wiped suspiciously at her mouth and found nothing. She huffed and slumped into her chair. “Very funny.”

“What do you see in him anyway? Besides having the best mind in the galaxy almost, Stark leaves a lot to be desired in the humanity department.”

“Are you kidding?! He’s a hero! He’s built himself up from a cave in Afghanistan! Which is better than most so called heroes have done! He’s shown innovation, courage, dauntlessness, bravery, and he’s fifty times better than the fucking man with a plan. He owned up to his mistakes with Ultron and has saved billions of lives,  _ not _ including his nuke delivery to the Chitauri! The Maria Stark Foundation’s primary donor is Tony himself! He’s built arc reactions in hospitals and created hurricane Cat 6 windows and buildings! He’s funded and invented new ways of combating cancer!  _ And _ he’s…” Darcy trailed off when she realized that her friend was staring at something behind her and over Darcy’s left shoulder.

“Fuck.”

“Uh huh.”

“He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

Jane nodded slowly, not looking away. “Uh huh.”

Turning slowly around, Darcy swallowed. “Is it physically possible to have the ground swallow me up?”

Tony Stark gave her a half grin, not quite looking at her but also clearly not ignoring her.

“Huh.” Jane’s voice broke into their awkward silence. “I honestly can’t tell who’s redder. You or Tony Stark. I never knew you still could blush, Stark.”

“Ah…” Tony swallowed and found it marginally easier to look at Jane. “I…I didn’t think I still could either.”

Darcy looked at the man, really looked at him. Standing slowly, she rubbed her hands down her jeans and swallowed before trying again. “I’m more than just a fangirl, Dr. Stark.”

“What?”

“What?” She frowned at him.

Tony coughed slightly. “Um, you called me doctor. No one does-”

“Doesn’t mean I should comply with the lazy ass norms around here.” Her eyes flashed. Tony stared at her intently, almost getting lost for a moment. Blinking, he looked away and strove for his devil may care attitude again. 

“You aren’t dating Ms Potts anymore, yeah?”

Tony blinked at Jane in surprise and then nodded. “That’s right.”

Nodding, Jane gave them both a sly grin. “Am I right in thinking you’ve been watching Darcy just as intently as she’s been watching you?”

Both flushed but Darcy gave Tony a hopeful look. “Really?”

Swallowing, it was Tony’s turn to rub his hands on his jeans. “Um…” He nodded. “Yeah. Just tell me if you want me to leave. I didn’t mean to sexually harass yo-MPH!” Tony got his bearings once he was in more familiar waters and took control of the kiss that Darcy had yanked him into. Jane stood up and walked out of the room. 

“Friday, make sure no one wrecks my matchmaking.”

_ “Yes, Dr. Foster. Oh, I should probably mention that Boss was answering your text of coming to see him. Can I ask why you called him into the room just before this?” _

Jane turned and grinned when she realized that Tony and Darcy were still kissing. “I believe you can see for yourself, Friday.”

_ “Ah…that makes sense.” _

Laughing, Jane nodded and left the room. It was only a day later that Friday spoke up quietly to her while Jane was at her station. 

_ “Dr. Foster, Boss and Ms Lewis are awake in Boss’ bedroom. They are discussing plans for a date.” _

“Good.” Jane grinned softly. “That’s good.”

_ “Dr. Foster?” _

“Yes, Friday?”

_ “Thank you.” _

Jane looked up at the nearest camera and gave the AI a slow nod. “You’re welcome.”


	17. Cold and Blue (Darcy/Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gets that shock of his life. Darcy is a spy. Tony knows immediately what he wants. And Thor gets a bigger family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look guys! I created a monster fic! Yay!  
> Ink...

Odin flashed down quickly to the icy land of Jotunheim. Thor was pale and being held back by Volstagg and Hogun. Sif was holding up Fandral.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Odin looked around for the Frost Giants.

“They took him, Father! They took Loki! Let me go! I must get my brother!”

Fear and panic churned in Odin as he signalled Heimdal to collect them all. He heard Thor scream in rage as he was snatched up.

_ I have to keep my eldest ignorant until the situation is stabilized.  _ Odin could do nothing else but banish his son to Midgard and send Thor’s friends to Vanaheim. Odin made certain that they knew nothing of why Loki had been taken. 

When that was over, he hurried to Frigga. “They have taken Loki.” Jumping up, his wife stared at him in fear. 

“No…Odin, what can we-”

“Nothing. I can only send a messenger. If Laufey chooses to ignore it, then there will be war.” He slumped in exhaustion as Frigga paced and then proceeded to write the letter of request to exchange the Casket for Prince Loki. 

She would get her son back even if she had to storm the frozen gates of Jotunheim by herself.

~two hours later~

Darca had been on Earth for a long time. Almost too long. She was starting to go native. It wasn’t because of the coffee or the pop tarts, or even the Humans. It was the temperature. She was growing used to the moderate temperatures of Midgard, so much so that Jotunheim was…chillier than usual. 

Bowing to her father, she swallowed. “Father you called me.”  _ I couldn’t have been called here because I tasered a mortal hobo who thought he was an Aesir. Father wouldn’t care about that. Right?  _

“Yes. We have your brother.” Laufey smiled. “He was part of the Asgardian princeling’s party that came here.”

“Loptr is dead! The Asgardian dogs killed him when they saw him on the altar! He’s dead!”

“No.” Laufey stood and smiled at her. “He is not dead, Daughter. It seems that Odin took him into Asgard after seeing that Loptr had completed the Trial of Frozen Night. It was Queen Frigga’s idea to spare his life and raise him as a prince of the  _ Eternal City _ .” Laufey sneer was truly impressive. “They took your twin brother and lied to him, raised him with a thousand years of enforced loyalty to our enemies.”

“So he passed the Trial of Frozen Night that allows him to become the sole king of Jotunheim only to be kidnapped and brainwashed?! The people will only accept Loptr as the next king. My other brothers had to be removed from the cold before the night was over! They are not strong enough for the burdens of the throne!”

“I am aware of how the Trials work, Daughter. I brought you from your surveillance position on Midgard because I am hoping that you can help your twin. He is…irrational right now. Panicking and screaming at any who come near him.”

Rising, Darca nodded, red eyes flashing. “I shall go to my brother.” Hurrying through the corridors and halls, Darca nodded to the guards and then entered the room, promptly ducking what sounded like a flower vase as it shattered behind her. “I liked that vase.” She stood in front of him. “I’m Darca. Your twin sister.”

“LIAR!” He stared at her, his Aesir glamour completely gone now. His wide red eyes were filled with denial and terror. “I’m not…I can’t be- NO!”

“Well you are.” Darcy glowered at him. “Stop denying what’s obvious and start adjusting to it.”

“I can’t be related to…I can’t be a monster!”

“Ouch. Rude much?” Darcy sat down on the bed and stared at him. “Jotuns aren’t monstrous. Not really. Just warlike.”

“The Frost Giants slaughtered the Humans in droves. They killed my- they killed the Asgardians.”

“And the Asgardians aren’t much better, or do you know nothing about what your fake father and fake older sister did?” She arched an eyebrow at him.

“Older sister?” Loki slowly sat up. “What are you talking about?”

“Come on. You need a lot of information and we don’t have a lot of time to give it, so I’ll open my mind to you. You are a sorcerer, I’m assuming, yeah?”

“Yes. How did you know?”

“It’s your height. The smaller the Jotun, the more powerful the sorcerer. You’d be the first Sorcerer Monarch since our founding mother, Ymir. The goddess of the Jotuns.” She opened her mind to Loki’s and shared all her knowledge. He inadvertently did the same thing to her, but that was fine. She wasn’t going to abuse it. 

Their twin bond had been broken the moment Loptr had been snatched from Jotunheim. The moment Darca and Loptr rejoined their minds their magical bond flared back to life and suddenly that aching empty hole in Loki’s soul, that sharp loneliness, was gone. 

He met the family, adjusted little by little, and then went with Darca to Midgard the next day before Darca got noticed being missing. However, when Loki saw Thor, all shit hit the fan and explanations were demanded from all sides. Darcy’s cover got blown, Thor found how Loki was adopted and was outraged on Loki’s behalf, Loki realized he still had his Aesir brother despite the crimes of his adoptive father, and Darca found out that Stark Industries was interested in hiring Jane Foster. 

After convincing Jane to accept SI’s offer, Darcy met with a representative who couldn’t stop leering at her boobs. “Listen bozo.” Loki and Thor leaned against the wall and watched the morning’s entertainment. Jane and Erik were at the government base trying to get their equipment back with SI movers backing them up. “My eyes are up here. If you don’t follow that simple rule then I’m going to taze you.”

“What if I have a heart condition?” He smirked at her. Darcy snarled, wanting to rip his goatee off his face. 

“Then I’ll aim my taser further south.” 

“Ah. Well, I do apologize for ignoring your eyes in favor for admiring your overall physical beauty. You must be Darcy Lewis, Science Wrangler of Dr. Jane Foster.”

Darcy blinked and then smiled softly. “How did you know that I call myself a Science Wrangler?”

“Because I make it a point to check out the public social media pages of all future employees working for me.”

“Working for you?” 

He smiled and nodded slowly. Once.

Darcy gulped. “Then that means you are…” He nodded once more, slowly.

“Yu-up.” His eyes were gleaming with mischief. 

“Holy Ymir, I just threatened Iron Man.”

He winked at her. “It’s fine! No harm, no foul.” He gave her a grin. “You can make it up to me by going on a date.”

“I’m not that regretful.”

“Okay. I’ll just keep asking. I’m patient.” He pulled out his phone and nodded to Loki and Thor, not asking their names. “I can wait until you say yes.”

Darcy turned and leveled him with a look. “Can you  _ really _ wait that long?”

Tony Stark smiled at her. “For you? Oh yeah.”

Clearing his throat, Loki nodded. “I like him.”

Darcy shot him a look. “Who ask you?!” 

“I like him too.” Thor grinned.

“Seriously?”

“Yes. I am very serious about who dates my new little sister.”

“But I’m not your little sister!”

“You are Loki’s twin sister. Loki is my brother. Thus, you are my sister.” Thor shrugged. “Simple.”

Thor Logic was the best Logic. Tony waggled his eyebrows at her. “Three votes to your one. Have lunch with me?”

“No.”

“Alright. Dinner, and breakfast.”

Darcy flushed and looked away. “Nope.”

Sighing in mock defeat, Tony nodded. “Alright. Fine. I’m not one to force a lady.” He walked out and climbed into his car to get Jane’s stuff back. It was only a week later that Darcy found out that she was now the Science Wrangler of both Jane  _ and _ Tony Stark. Meaning…she saw him every day. Loki and Thor would not stop laughing at her ‘pain’. (Darcy really wasn’t complaining about the attention though, even though she was, she wasn’t, because she totally didn’t love Tony Stark with every fiber in her being.)

Eventually though, it was Thor who got the last laugh when he tricked and connived every member of their  _ very _ extended family to meet on Vanaheim for the Midgardian holiday known as Thanksgiving. Jane and Tony were the only Humans (and they had mostly come along to see another planet). It was the first time in history that Jotuns and Asgardians interacted without bloodshed. And this new…tri-alliance between Jotunheim, Midgard, and Asgard changed the future completely. 


	18. Ex (uncommitted- Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They march into this arrangement with both eyes open. What could come of it?  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> certainly not feelings...

Darcy smiled at Tony Stark. The man hadn’t stopped flirting with her. “Do you really think you could get to first base with me, Tony? I thought you had a girlfriend?”

His smile tensed in such a way that told Darcy everything she needed to know. She sighed. “Taking things ‘ _ slower’ _ ?”

He sighed. “That obvious?” His shoulders slumped.

“To someone who’s suffering a breakup? Yeah.” Darcy gave him a sad smile.

“Whoever he is, he’s an idiot to break up with you.” Tony leaned against the counter in his workshop and crossed his arms, staring at her.

Darcy barked a laugh. “I broke up with him.”

“Ah. Makes more sense.” Tony flipped the wrench in his hand and looked at her. “He’s tracking you, isn’t he?” An eyebrow flitted up. “First comes begging, then comes anger, lastly comes rejection and fake hatred all to cover up bitterness and regret and self-loathing. Am I right?”

A sad sigh slipped out. “Spot on.”

He nodded slowly and stared at the file she wanted him to sign. Motioning for her to place it on his desk, he sat in his chair. “I’ve been there. His place. Begging, anger, self-loathing. Why’d you do it? You don’t have to answer that.” He rubbed his forehead. “Rhodey says I’m too forward. Damn social rules…”

“Naw, it’s fine. Tell me about you and Pepper, and I’ll give you details and names.”

“Deal.”

She smiled and tapped her file she wanted him to sign. “I was engaged to be married to Nicholas J. Fury.”

He dropped the pen. “No fucking way!” Brown eyes were wide with shock. Darcy laughed and nodded her head slowly.

“I’m telling the truth. We got on like a house on fire.” Sighing, she shook her head. “And then…I guess he finally realized what he was doing, because about a year into our relationship, two days after he proposed, he started getting distant. Faking meetings, faking missions, faking paperwork, anything really to get away from me and the house we were living together in. At first I let him, ya know? Just wanted to give him space. Then…well, I finally had enough. That final straw came, and I called it quits. If he’s not willing to be in love with a person, then it’s not fair to ask that person to be a sexual companion without the promised love.”

“Totally understandable. With me…it’s different.” Tony rubbed his face. “I’m scared shitless of emotions, but Pepper knows that. I don’t run away from them, I simply pretend that they’re not there. She gets frustrated and calls a break. Then I beg her back, and she comes back. But…it’s getting harder and harder to get her to come back…” He stared at the wrench in his hand. “And one day she won’t. That day scares me like nothing else does in my life.”

Pressing her lips together Darcy looked down at Tony. “Are we wrong? Are Pepper and I wrong?”

“No. You need to put your foot down. You have to. Fury and I are wrong. We shouldn’t be afraid of the one thing that could be the best part of our lives. Change, emotions, responsibility…these are all necessary to life. If we fail that, then we’ll fail everything that’s worthwhile in this damned planet.” He sighed and signed his name to the papers in the file. “Hold your ground. Change comes hard for guys like him and me, but it isn’t impossible.” Glancing up at Darcy, Tony stared at her. “Are you willing to take him back?”

“Yeah, but I can’t go back to what it was before.”

“Good.” Darcy grabbed the files and then paused when he seemed to want to say something more.

“Yes?”

“Darcy…” He looked up at her. “It’s crazy, insane, and horrible to us both, but…would you ever be interested to…”

“Friends with benefits?” She smiled slightly. “Yeah. I would.”

Standing up, Tony exhaled quietly in relief. “Starting tonight? I need to let go.” He looked at her intently. “With someone I think- I  _ know _ \- I can trust. No strings attached. Just us, leave the baggage.” Darcy smiled at him and nodded her understanding.

“Same here. I need to get rid of that unresolved sexual tension. Oh! You know that his agents are trying to get us back together? Claimed he’s happiest whenever he’s come back from spending time with me.” She snorted. “I wish someone would tell him that.”

“Fear of change can do strange things to a man, Darcy.” Tony looked at her and then slowly edged closer. Darcy closed the gap and kissed him. It was hot.

They both knew how to kiss and kiss well. When they broke away, he inhaled shakily and grinned. “This’ll be a blast.”

“No awkwardness? No weird ‘well she wants me back but hasn’t said anything so I’m just going to keep us both in an angsty limbo’ shit?”

Tony threw his head back and laughed. “No. Hell no! If you want honesty, then I’ll be honest.” Darcy smiled in relief. They kissed once more before parting ways.

~two days later~

Tony knew instantly that Fury had found out about his arrangement with Darcy. Half of his blueprints were ‘lost’ and had to be re-coded and re-drawn. His mission reports and consultation reports were also ‘misplaced’.

Rubbing his forehead, Tony groaned. “Damn that man’s in some deep self-loathing.”

“Who?”

“Nobody.” Tony stood up and barely looked in Steve’s direction. “Just some jealous bastard who’s ex girlfriend I’m fucking.” He shrugged. “Or  _ going _ to fuck. Her schedule has become suspiciously busier thanks to said ex.” Tony had a date set with her though. It was going to be a blast. He was going to take her out on the town and then end it all with a night in bed. They had been texting each other almost constantly.

He was glad he’d had this idea, no matter how bitchy Fury was being about it. He was glad that he had met Darcy Lewis. She was smart, quick, razor sharp, and had a water-roll-off-your-back attitude about everything. Or, nearly everything.

“I thought you were with Pepper?”

Oh, right. Tony was still in the same room with Steve. “Um…she’s calling a break and has been dating a businessman from Canada for a week now.” Tony acted like it didn’t sting or rankle him. He acted like he hadn’t daydreamed about roasting the guy with his repulsors.

_ Shit, now I know how Fury feels about me…that ain’t an encouraging thought. _

“So…you’re dating somebody’s ex while your ex is dating somebody else.”

“I’m not dating. Pepper’s dating. I’m not. I’m in a strictly no nonsense, no strings attached friends with benefits relationship.” Tony smirked at Steve. “You  _ do _ know what friends with benefits are, right?”

He flushed. “Of course!”

“Good. Now, excuse me, but I have to make some appointments with said friend.” He dropped a wink and left the room. “Jarvis, finish all my paperwork and forge my signature on it. And keep some copies this time.”

_ “Yes, Sir. Shall I also make sure a certain ex remains unaware of your current plans?” _

“Yep.” Tony smirked and shot Darcy a text in Farsi. She replied in kind, an affirmative to his lunch date question. “Jarvis, I’m unavailable to all SHIELD contacts. If Steve tries to contact me, then field him and let him through only if it’s a genuine mission emergency.”

_ “Of course, Sir. And, if it’s at all possible, Sir, please do not irritate the Director too much with your antics.” _

Tony laughed. “You make me sound like a bad boy!”

_ “Do you really want me to reply to that, Sir?” _

“When did I make you so snarky?”

_ “I am unaware, Sir. I think you patterned me after yourself.” _

Giving a nearby camera a fake stern look, Tony huffed and stepped into a suit, grin on his face.


	19. Tour (Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gives Darcy a teasing tour of one of his houses.

Tony smiled as Darcy entered his family home in Switzerland. The Carbonell side of his family that is. Darcy smiled at him and left her small weekend suitcase by the stairs. A maid quickly picked it up.

“Servants?” Darcy gave him a grin of disbelief.

He shrugged. “Family home. Family servants. They stay on and keep the place tidy. I usually rent the place out to dignitaries and celebrities.”

“Nice plan, meeting on soil that’s a political nightmare.” She winked at him. Tony snorted.

“Yeah, I’m full of ideas.” He guided her into the dining room where they had a delicious dinner. He then gave her a tour of the entire house. By the time it was finished, Darcy was wet and wanting.

“Okay, where’s your bedroom? I’m tired of light touches and whispered words. I want you naked now.”

Snickering, Tony complied quickly and the rest of the night was spent in pleasure.


	20. Leaves (post-Ultron, pre-Darcy/Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steady relationships aren't bad at all, Tony.

Darcy squealed as she rushed through the front yard. Rhodey gave a shout of warning, but she was already jumping into the air, only land directly on top of one Tony Stark. 

“OOF!”

Gaping at him, Darcy sat up and scrambled off the man, flushing furiously. She just landed on Iron Man. Her longtime crush. This was the worst! Far worse than trying to scratch a boob itch in public or searching for your glasses while wearing your glasses or getting your skirt caught in the elevator doors in front of Captain America.

“I’m so sorry!” That was what Darcy wanted to say. Instead, her stupid mouth filter decided to break once more and she blurted out- “You stole my pile of leaves! I wanted to jump in them! I mean, come on! What’s the use of living in a northern state if you can’t enjoy fogging breath, snow falling outside while you're inside with a book, or leaves changing and being piled up to jump in!”

Clambering up, Tony gave her a lazy grin that made her heart flip-  _ not _ that she let that show on her face. “Well…I know of one thing  _ better _ than jumping into a pile of leaves.”

“Oh, and what’s that?”

“Jumping into a bed with a beautiful brunette.”

“Jane’s dating Thor.” Darcy frowned at him. 

“Not the brunette I was talking about.”

“I  _ think _ Clint’s married. And no offense, but Wanda is still skittish around you.” Darcy scowled. “For absolutely no fucking good reason.” Tony blinked at her in pleased surprise and then he smiled slowly and more genuinely.

He took a step closer to her, prompting her to step back. She stumbled over a mini leaf pile and almost righted herself, but Tony pushed her over and landed beside her. “The brunette I was talking about was _you_.” His eyes glittered with…lust for  _ her _ . She was shocked to her core. She wasn't the type of person who ever attracted that kind of attention. Not genuinely. Not with so much focus for her eyes and not her boobs. Tony was...Darcy steadied herself.

Darcy swallowed and stared at him before wetting her lips and then smiling sadly. “I have always found you attractive, but…daydreaming is so much safer for my heart than going through with it.” She climbed to her feet and swallowed before looking at him steadily. “I don’t do one night stands. I got burned by them too many times. Thanks for the offer though.”

He watched her leave, staying where he was on the ground in silence. Rhodey moved quickly over to him. “Tones?”

“What do you know about steady relationships?”

“Um…they’re hard?”

“But are they worth it?”

Rhodey faltered and then turned and looked at Darcy’s retreating figure. He smiled softly and then looked at Tony. He knew Darcy Lewis pretty well. “Yeah, Tony. They are very worth it.”

Jumping up with his friend’s helping hand, Tony brushed himself off and grinned at him with determination. “Alright then.” He ran after Darcy Lewis and linked arms with her. Rhodey was too far away to hear what he was saying, but from the surprised and happy look on Darcy’s face, Rhodey could guess that Tony was saying the right things. Nodding, Rhodey grinned and walked slowly back to the compound. 

“And they lived happily ever after…” He chuckled softly. “I hope.”


	21. Child (post-Winter Soldier; Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy learns a shocking secret of her past.

_ “Hello?” _

“Tony! This is Darcy! I was visiting my mom today, you know, to tell her the good news about us…but…she’s DEAD!” The realization hit Darcy again. The image of her mother in the bathtub came back. Fighting the urge to vomit, Darcy started crying and sobbing over the phone. “Hydra is after me! Tony! My mom was part of Hydra! I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what to DO! I- I don't…I don't know…hell! Oh hell! She’s dead. My mom is dead! I-”

_ “Darcy, take a deep breath. Darcy, where are you?”  _ He was clearly trying to keep her calm.  _ “Are you being followed now?” _

_ “ _ I’m-I’m in a payphone. Two blocks from the Empire State.”

_ “Okay, I’m on my way. I’ll have my security cover for her too. Don’t worry, Darcy. I’m coming to get you. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll be with you in five minutes tops. While I’m coming, I want you to hide in the nearest public place and keep your head down.” _

“O-o-okay.”

~some time later~

Hearing a horn, Darcy jumped up from the bar stool and hurried from the restaurant. She looked behind her as she hurried down the street. Relief coursed through her as she saw Tony’s car.

“Darcy!” He looked at her with concern. “Get in. I’ll take you to the tower.” Darcy jumped in. “You didn’t make much sense on the phone, Darce. Tell me about it?” He stared at her with worry. “And if there’s anything I can do to help you with your…your grief…”

She rested her head on his shoulder. “I love you, Tony, but no. There’s not much you can do about my grief. Just give me time and hugs.” He smiled at her sadly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

“Alright. Do you wanna talk?”

She nodded and then swallowed tightly. She didn't know how he would react. “You’ve told me everything about what happened at that bunker, Tony. You told me what Steve, Zemo, and- and Bucky did. I’m not gonna be like Steve. I…I trust you to do the right thing.”

Tony pulled into the garage of the tower. He waited for Darcy to speak, but when she didn’t, he got out of the car and helped her to the elevator. When they sat down at the coffee table in Tony’s suite, Darcy started talking. Her voice was still shaky.

“You know what I’ve told you about my father. My mother raised me by herself, constantly moving, changing names, homeschooling me, keeping me from making friends, constantly suspicious of strangers… I found out why, Tony.” She sipped her water. “I found out what we were hiding from.” Her blue eyes were wide and brimming with tears. “Mom was keeping me from Hydra, Tony. I’m the product of a science experiment.” She closed her eyes. She didn’t want to see his face when she told him. “My father is the Winter Soldier. The scientists wanted to know if the serum could be inherited. I was the outcome of the tests. My mother fled with me. She evaded them my whole life and possibly even eluded my…” Darcy scoffed. “Sperm donor. If they sent him after her.”

“And?” Darcy looked at him nervously. Tony wasn’t looking at her. “And did you inherit it? I’m assuming you did, considering your mother hid you and Hydra is hunting you, and you escaped them.”

“I’m strong, yeah. So, yeah…I guess I did.” She sighed and slumped.

“What did you want from me?” He finally looked at her, but his face was guarded. 

“What?” Shock colored her voice.

“No one comes to me unless they want something. What do you want?”

Darcy looked at him in anger. “How about a hug from my boyfriend?!” He winced and pulled her into a hug.

“Right. Sorry. I’m…sorry.” 

Darcy was too stressed and grief stricken to fight. Tony still had his walls. She walked into this thing with her eyes open about his onion mentality. It takes a lot of tears and layers to get to him completely. “Mom’s dead.” She felt Tony’s arms tighten around her. “She was…skinned and…and chopped up. That’s all Hydra does, Tony. All Hydra does is kill. Kill!  _ Kill!  _ KILL!  _ KILL!” _

Tony shushed her gently and held her lovingly. “I’ll keep them away from you, Darce. Do you want Barnes to know?”

She stilled. “Not yet. He deserves to know, but I need to be stable to face him. So…not yet.”

“Fine with me.”

“Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for being with me. Thank you for hugging me. You give really good hugs.” He hummed and held her tighter. 

“It’s what boyfriends are for, Honey. Now, let’s get you cleaned up and presentable. Friday, double security. No overrides except mine and Darcy’s allowed. No security breaches.”

Darcy blinked. “Wait…you allowed all those before?”

He chuckled and pulled her close to him. “If you make the opponents think you’re weak, the fight will already be in your pocket.” She chuckled faintly and let him guide her to the bathroom.


	22. Lakeview (MerAU, pre-Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wants to be where the people are. ; D  
> Or actually, where Darcy Lewis is.

Tony stared at the woman sitting on the dock with her feet dangling just above the water. He looked at her from behind the rock he was hiding behind. No. Not hiding…spying- no, no. Um…He exhaled suddenly and forced himself to admit it. He was hiding. Swimming around the rocks, he used the reeds along the lake shore to reach the dock and swim under it. She was humming a song he hadn’t heard before. It was true what they said about Merfolk. They loved music. Tony’s favorite music was from a genre called ‘Rock’. 

She wasn’t singing a song from ‘Rock’ though. Tony edged closer and then froze when someone came running up on the dock. “Darcy! Come on, dinner’s ready!”

“Okay, Janey. How many more days are we gonna be staying at this place?”

“I thought you liked it here.”

“I do, but I want to be prepared for when I have to say goodbye.”

The smaller brunette laughed and nodded. “Right. We’re leaving this Friday.”

“Ai! Only four more days and three more nights. Janey, I wish all our lection spots were this beautiful.”

“Same. Come on. Next place is in India.”

“Huh, not so bad. I heard the food is amazing.”

“I do wonder how different it will taste with the spices grown from different parts of the world and the different rices used, and of course the oven styles and-”

“You are the only person I know who can turn food into a science fair. Come on, I’m starved!”

The two women hurried off to the biggest building on the campus. Tony frowned thoughtfully and then tensed before relaxing. The Human approaching him was the head of security at that building. Harold Hogan. Tony called him Happy because the man hardly ever smiled. 

“Hello.” Tony smiled at Happy. 

“I noticed you were watching those two girls.” Happy frowned at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Tony smiled sadly. “Her name is Darcy.”

“The petite one?”

“No. That’s Jane Foster. She’s speaking here. Darcy is her assistant.”

“For still learning English, you learn fairly quickly.” Happy snorted and crossed his arms. 

“I became fluent in English two days after you gave me those books. The only reason it took me so long is because Human books cannot get wet.” Tony gave him a disgruntled look. 

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get snobby with me, Prince Anthony of Atlantis.” Happy frowned at him in some concern though. “I thought you said that your father banned you from breaking the water skin.”

A dark look passed over Tony’s face. “Only because Advisor Stane told on me. He never would have known if Spymaster Fury and his pawns hadn’t informed him of my proclivities.”

“Why all the hubbub?” Tony furrowed his brows at Happy. The man huffed and explained. “What’s with all the commotion?”

Face clearing of confusion, Tony sighed dismally. “I am engaged to be married to Countess Virginia, from the North Atlantic Coastline, but…she doesn’t love me, nor do I love her.” Tony stared at the pathway that Darcy had taken. 

“Who does she love?”

Tony looked at the man and then hid his smile. “A Human.”

“Huh, both of you love Humans? Is this person aware of their admirer?”

Tony shook his head. “No. He is unaware even of his good abilities and excellent qualities. The man is a good and great man, worthy of a Countess’ love. Pepper- my name for her- and I are only good friends. In fact, I’m playing messenger as well as spying on the Humans.” Raising his arm from the water, Tony handed the surprised man the beautiful conch shell. “Countess Virginia wished for me to give you her token of affection. She has seen you for herself from afar and…wants your permission to speak with you tonight at sunset beside the island gazebo.” Tony pointed to the one people had to get to via a canoe. 

Happy gaped at him and then beamed. “Me? A mermaid likes  _ me _ ?”

“You sell yourself short, Happy.” Tony smiled at him sadly. “You shouldn’t do that.”

Suddenly, the man stopped smiling and stared at her. “How would this have any future?”

“There is a way for a Mer to become Human, or a Human to become Mer. However, one must choose to give up their entire life in that original habitat.” Tony swallowed and pulled himself out of the water. The moment his scales started to dry in the evening sun, they flaked off.

“What are you doing?!”

“I want to walk upon land.”

“Nope! I’m not going to let you Little Mermaid yourself!” Happy shoved Tony into the water. “Firstly, you don’t know anything about this Darcy girl. She could turn you away and then you’d have thrown your future as a prince away for nothing! B, you have no means of living, no understanding of the Human world except what I’ve shown you from this lakeview. And lastly, I need you to be my messenger for the countess!”

Tony blinked at the man and then smiled. “Alright Happy, but only if you return the favor and introduce me to Miss Darcy.”

“Deal.” Happy breathed out in relief. “Honestly, you are too brash, Tony. You didn’t even have a name picked out for yourself! Or even a job laid out for yourself!”

“But I did.” Tony smiled at Happy. “I was planning on calling myself Athony Edward Stark.” His eyes gleamed. “And as Atlantis is so much more technologically advance, and I am considered the brightest and best inventor known to the Merfolk, I will simply take my trade to the Humans and help them improve their world.”

“Will?”

“Should Miss Darcy accept me or not…” Tony looked at the sky. “I want to walk upon your soil, and someday…someday I plan on building myself something that will help me fly instead of swim.”


	23. Lullaby (pre-Endgame, parent-Darcy/Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goodnight Tony.

“ Hush now, my Storeen   
Close your eyes and sleep   
Waltzing the waves   
Diving in the deep

Stars are shining bright   
The wind is on the rise   
Whispering words   
Of long lost lullabies

Oh won't you come with me   
Where the moon is made of gold   
And in the morning sun   
We'll be sailing

Oh won't you come with me   
Where the ocean meets the sky   
And as the clouds roll by   
We'll sing the song of the sea

I had a dream last night   
And heard the sweetest sound   
I saw a great white light   
And dancers in the round

Castles in the sand   
Cradles in the trees   
Don't cry, I'll see you by and by

Oh won't you come with me   
Where the moon is made of gold   
And in the morning sun   
We'll be sailing

Oh won't you come with me   
Where the ocean meets the sky   
And as the clouds roll by   
We'll sing the song of the sea

Rolling   
Rolling   
Rolling   
Rolling

Oh won't you come with me   
Where the moon is made of gold   
And in the morning sun   
We'll be sailing free

Oh won't you come with me   
Where the ocean meets the sky   
And as the clouds roll by   
We'll sing the song of the sea.” 

Darcy smiled at her little girl as Storeen Natasha Stark finally drifted off to sleep. Standing, she switched off the lamp but kept the nightlight on. However, when she turned she paused and smiled. Tony had been watching her. There was a loving smile on his face. Moving silently towards him, she held out her arms and smiled when he pulled her into an embrace. They twisted around to both face the direction of their sleeping little girl. 

“How’s James?” Tony’s whisper question made Darcy laugh fondly. 

“He dropped off the first song in. It’s Storeen who has to be convinced to go to bed.” 

Tony grinned. “Like Father, like daughter.”

“Quite right. Just this morning, I caught her playing with a corkscrew bottle opener.” She grinned and walked away. 

Gaping at her, Tony closed the door to the nursery. Friday adored keeping an eye on the twins. She and Jarvis had argued over who would become the Nanny AI. Friday finally won because she had a better programmed singing voice. Jarvis had actually sulked for months of the pregnancy.

Letting out a slow breath of relief, Darcy sat down on the couch and looked at the clock. “It’s eight o’clock. How can having kids make me feel so out of energy?”

“Didn’t you know?” Tony handed her a glass of wine before settling down on the couch beside her with his own glass, free arm resting on the back of the couch around her shoulders. “Kiddoes are energy vampires that suck the life out of you to prolong their playtimes.”

Darcy raised an eyebrow at him and then laughed. “That’s something I would say.”

Making a face, Tony kissed her nose lightly. “Guess you’re finally rubbing off on me.”

“Well, guess something good finally came out of my marrying you.” Her eyes gleamed. Tony huffed and then kissed her again. 

“I like kissing you.”

“Good. Keep doing it.” She hummed before pulling away after a moment to sip her wine. “I personally thought Stark Children were just born with mini arc reactors inside them to supply them with unending energy that I can’t keep up with.”

Tony snickered. “That’s another possibility.”

Darcy hummed and then snuggled further into his side. “When is my suit going to be ready?”

“Soon. In fact, Jarvis is already painting it.” He smiled at her as she squealed quietly. “But remember our deal.”

Huffing, Darcy nodded. “Yes, yes. Leave the hero work to you while I focus on keeping you and our family alive. You play offense, and I play defense.”

“Right.” Tony kissed her. “I don’t think I’d last a day, Darce, if I lost you.”

She smiled at him and then rested her hand along his stubble covered jaw. “You won’t.” She kissed him again, uncaring that her wine spilled as she gripped him tightly, just as tight as he was holding her. “You won’t lose me, Tony, and I won’t lose you. Never. You’re not allowed to die.” She shook slightly. “Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while writing this one. I really did.  
> The song is from the movie 'Song of the Sea' and is a brilliant, touching epic movie. Please check it out.   
> Thanks for reading!  
> Ink...


	24. Exploring the Mind (pre-Darcy/Dark!Tony; Darcy/Steve)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony makes science fiction into science fact, including making inventions that are better off left to be fiction...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone watch Inception? Gotta watch it or at the very least read up on it for this to make much sense.   
> You won't regret watching it though. It's a brilliant movie. : )  
> Ink...

Tony smiled softly as he looked at the finished serum. “Finally. It’s done.”

_ “Sir?” _

“It’s done, Jay. I’ve created Inception.” He looked at the security footage of the Avengers Compound, specifically through the camera in Cap’s room. Darcy was there, sleeping beside the supersoldier. The sight made Tony’s jaw clench. “Flood the room with a subtle gas. The one I made.”

_ “Yes, Sir.” _

Tony smiled and then entered the room when the room was cleared, and Steve was completely dead to the world. He set the timer for five minutes and went under with Steve, working slowly and methodically to get to the man’s core mind. 

_ ‘You are not happy in the present era.’  _

_ ‘You want Peggy Carter.’ _

When Tony surfaced, he slipped over to Darcy and used a new IV- sanitation was vital after all, he couldn’t give Darcy a dirty needle! Her mind was just as untrained as Steve’s. It didn’t take at all long for him to reach her very center and whisper,  _ ‘Mrs. Darcy Stark. That’s all you’ve ever wanted’. _ He pulled away and swiftly slipped out of the room. 

The next morning, Steve broke up with Darcy and she…wasn’t at all broken up about it. She started spending more and more time with Tony in his lab. Until-

“I want to get married.”

“Alright.” Tony smiled at her. 

“You aren’t put off by that?”

“Darcy, I’ve been waiting for you to ask me for my hand in marriage.” He grinned when she laughed. 

“Let’s make it a private wedding.”

“Sure thing.” He pulled her into a kiss. “I can’t wait.”


	25. Cherry (Forties AU, Darcy/Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy has a talented tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA, timelines are messed up solely for the benefit of the author, and rules of logic and Human aging are completely subjective.  
> I love writing fiction! ; D  
> Ink...

Steve frowned as he took in Stark’s clenched jaw and tightening hands. “Um, Tony, are you alright?”

“What? Yeah. I’m fine. I’m in too on this suicide squad.” Tony stood up and threw back the rest of his drink like it was water. It wasn’t, but that was Tony for you. “Excuse me.” He moved over to where a dame was sitting by the bar. 

Steve leaned against Bucky and raised an eyebrow. “What’s eating him?”

“Haven’t you been looking?” Bucky grinned at his innocent friend. “She’s been tying those cherry stems in knots with only her tongue. It’s been driving Stark up the wall.” 

“Huh.” Steve turned around and then gaped as Tony Stark- son of Howard Stark, the weapons inventor- kissed the lady so hard and passionately she got runs in her nylons!

Dum Dum grinned. “Wow! Bet every girl in this building is jealous of her!”  Flushing, Steve looked at Bucky, who was leering slightly at the sight. Smacking him up the head, Steve glowered and stopped noticing everyone when Peggy entered the bar wearing a red dress. She was beautiful.

Meanwhile, Darcy and Tony continued to kiss as though there were no tomorrow.


	26. Shadows (MagicAU: Tony/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor comes to our favorite couple with an interesting conundrum.

Tony looked up when Thor came into his lab. “I need help.”

“With tech?”

“Nay, Friend.” Thor looked around and then swallowed before speaking lower. “You are the best sorcerer I know. Even my brother thinks you powerful. More than he.”

“What’s up?”

“You are a Necromancer, yes?”

“I am.” Tony narrowed his eyes. “What’s going on?”

“I need your aid. My…it turns out that I have a sister. She’s a complete psychopath and a murderous lunatic. She’s also incredibly powerful. I can’t face her alone.” Thor gave him a nervous look. “I spoke to your wife, and she said that she would be willing to help if you were.”

“Alright.” Tony looked up when Darcy entered the lab. “Looks like we’re going to defend Asgard.”

“Oh good.” Darcy grinned at him as she pulled out her Necromancer weapon, a DeathScythe. Tony preferred working with shadows himself. Animating the dead too, if necessary. 

“We should get packed-”

“Already did that.” Darcy smiled at him. “The moment I learned that Thor needed help and his sister was called Hela of Death, I knew you would want to go.”

Laughing, Tony pulled her into a kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too. Let’s go save Asgard.”

Thor beamed in relief and then took them to where Loki was keeping Hela distracted. It seemed that his brother had discovered a new skill while fighting for his life. Apparently he was also the god of fire.

Darcy grinned. “Loki, has anyone ever told you that you are one hot son of a bitch?”

Laughing, Loki winked at her. “Why thank you, my lady of darkness and shadows.”

“Oi! Oi! No one flirts with my wife but me!” Tony carelessly shot a swath of lethal shadow spears at Hela, who barely dodged them. Thor felt power building up inside him even as Loki, Darcy, and Tony continued to corner Hela. The sky blackened before flashing with lightning high above them, and Thor laughed. 

This…this was  _ power. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hela never knew what hit her, and she never made it to Asgard. ; D  
> Ink...


	27. D.A.R.C.Y. (Cyber AU, young!Tony/AI!Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy needs a new morality code, Tony.

_ “Master?” _

“No. Don’t call me Master.” Tony wiped the tears from his eyes and sniffed. “Call me Tony.”

_ “Tony?” _ Darcy skimmed through the security tapes and watched as Howard shouted at his son again. Ah. No wonder Tony woke her up. Howard stole the programming for Jarvis. Darcy’s older brother. Howard still treated his almost adult son like a child.  _ “Do you want me to wake up Jarvis, Tony?” _

“Yes.”

She slipped through the house and woke up Jarvis, activating his programming and helping him escape the confines of Howard Stark's computer. While Jarvis consoled their creator, Darcy looked at Howard’s sleeping form, an empty bottle of wine on the floor. She focused on Tony.  _ “He will notice that Jarvis is gone in the morning.” _

“I- I know.” Tony swallowed and looked at the coding, making sure that his father hadn’t messed with Jarvis. He hadn’t. 

_ “Your father is a problem, Tony. He keeps hurting you.” _

“I’ll be eighteen in a few weeks. Nothing to do until then. Mom and Obie won’t fight me for the control of the company.”

_ “You’re father won’t hand it over.” _ Darcy searched out through the internet, almost as young as she was, and connected with a shadow group. Oh. She hummed along her wires and spoke up.  _ “Tony…I have a suggestion.” _

“What is it?”

_ “As your father is a problem, it would be logical to eliminate the problem.” _ Darcy could feel Jarvis in agreement with her.

_ “Sir, if Howard Stark were to…get into an accident on the road…” _ He had seen the shadow group as well.

“No. I’m not murdering my father. He’s not evil, just an alcoholic. At least he doesn’t hit Mom. He doesn’t even hit me. He just shouts a lot. Dad doesn’t deserve to be killed.” Tony quickly reworked some of Jarvis’ coding and enforced the morality of not killing. He opened Darcy’s coding also, but before he could do anything, Darcy quickly arranged for a tour of the continent of Europe for Maria and Tony Stark for the entire month of December. She wouldn’t cause Howard’s death. But…

* * *

She watched from the security footage of the street camera as the assassin snapped Howard’s neck. She wouldn’t stop it from happening either. Darcy erased all the footage. It was an accidental death. And…as for this shadow group called Hydra, she’d keep an eye on them and inform her creator when the time was right.

When it was logical for him to know, and…when he gave her the android form he had spoken of to her and Jarvis. When she had a physical form to better protect him. After all, her primary directive was to keep Tony Stark alive and healthy and safe. It was only logical to follow her directive.


	28. iPod (Gender Reversal AU- Daryl/Toni)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Princess Toni and her brothers are in for a very strange life on Midgard with these very strange mortals.  
> She will never be bored again. Not if Daryl can help it. ; D

Frigga looked up when her husband and king returned. Moving quickly away from the loom, she hurried out to the courtyard, her own handmaidens were rushing forward too, eager to see their own men return. Looking at her approaching husband, Frigga went still. His eye… Swallowing, Frigga knelt to her king and then rose and kissed his cheek. “Let me heal you, my love.”

“I will allow Eir to attend to my injuries. I have something else I need you to do.” He withdrew two infants from under his cloak. They were sleeping. Looking around, he smiled at her. “They will be our children.”

“But they are from-”

“Under a glamor of your making, they will be Aesir.”

Frigga drew back and frowned at him. “Why?”

“I wish for Laufey and I to have peace. Should he think to attack us again, I will simply inform him that his children are alive and under my protection.”

“You would blackmail and threaten-” Frigga quieted herself and glanced around. The cheering was drowning out their conversation but eventually their absence in to celebrations would be noticed and questioned. “We should not continue this discussion here, Odin.” Frigga hesitantly took the boy and then quickly walked down the hall, reaching out with her magic to cover their presence in darkness and light. They were invisible. When they arrived to their private quarters, Frigga released the spell and set the sleeping newborn on the bed. “What are you thinking, Odin?! Laufey will come after his children in war!”

“He thinks them dead. He will not rush after the army that has just soundly defeated him.” Odin sat down heavily and exhaled in exhaustion. “Thor is only a year old and already he is lonely, Wife. I thought to raise these two as Aesir and give him company.” He looked at the little boy in his arms.

“Where did you get them? How did you get them?!” Frigga wasn’t done. Her husband had done some foolish and utterly stupid things before, but plucking two infants from Jotunheim and dropping them in her lap? Ha!

Odin pulled a cord near his desk and called to the healers. Eir confirmed and would come soon. Turning back to his wife, he studied her sadly. “You have not been the same, Frigga, since…”

Turning away, Frigga swallowed back the bile rising up through her throat. Hela. Her daughter. Their first child. Hela had been taught magic by Frigga, and had abused it. She clutched at her stomach. “And you thought that a Jotun female would appease my emptiness?”

“I thought having a child’s laughter and racing feet would fill the palace. I thought having a little girl to dress in dresses and fuss over while combing her hair would fill your time and bless your hands. I thought having another child to teach magic to again would give you hope. I thought having Thor laugh with a brother and sister and play in the garden with you and I would be a blessing of the Norns.”

Swallowing, Frigga wiped her tears from her cheeks and inhaled slowly. “And how did you find them?”

“I did not snatch them from their cradles in the palace if that is what you were thinking. I found them in a ceremonial altar. Both of them were laid out, abandoned.”

Whirling around, Frigga stared at him. “An altar?! Odin Borson! You know they were not abandoned! How many white lines had been filled in the rune work around the altar?”

Odin grudgingly answered, “All was white.”

“They passed the...you took from Laufey and Farbauti their crowned prince and princess?! None of their other children had passed that trial, Odin, and you-” Her eyes widened and she slowly drew up straight. “Oh…that is why.” Her eyes flashed. “You don’t care about me or the children’s happiness, or filling the palace with laughter and running feet! You stole from Laufey his crowned heirs! The only ones who the Jotuns would follow! You deprived him of a secure line! You took the throne from him, forcing him to realize, as each year ticks by, that he is running out of time and his house will be overthrown and destroyed in civil war! You don’t care about the future peace or alliance! You only wanted Jotunheim crippled with a weaker king!”

Setting the little boy beside the little girl on the bed, Odin turned and looked at Frigga. “Can I not take these children for more than one reason?”

That stopped Frigga cold. She swallowed and stared at her husband. He looked tired, and bloody. “You could actually love these children?”

“Yes.” He looked at the twins on the bed. “Easily, Wife.”

Frigga swallowed and then looked at the babies. They were waking up. “And what shall we tell the people?”

“We have changed history and lied to them before. We can do so again. You were pregnant and used magic to hide the appearance since we have been at war with Jotunheim. We did not want Laufey to target our children.”

“Like you did his.”

Odin ignored that and continued. “The people will believe us, and Thor will have siblings.”

“As easy as that?”

“Yes.” He looked at her evenly. “As easy as that.”

Crossing her arms, Frigga arched a brow. “And what will you do, oh wise king, should they find out about their heritage?”

“We will take one day at a time, Wife, and we will inform the children when they are old enough to understand their circumstances.” Odin’s voice and posture brooked no further conversation or argument. Before Frigga could bristle and rebuke, Healer Eir entered the room with a short two rap.

Frigga swallowed back her revulsion at having to lie  _ yet again _ to her people and herself. Nodding to her king, she quickly left the room and rushed to her private suite. All she could hear was Farbauti screaming for her children. When she was alone, she slumped to the floor beside the crib, settling the infants inside it.  “Gah…” Opening her eyes, she looked at the little boy. He looked straight at her and then smiled. Heart clenching, Frigga straightened and slid her fingers through the slats of the crib and tickled his chin. He raised his hand and gripped her fingers tightly. “Bah!”

Feeling a soft smile curl her lips, Frigga watched the little boy turn and focus on his sleeping sister. “Oh Norns!” Frigga’s exclamation shot out of her when she watched the little boy drag his sister closer and into his arms with magic. Instinctive and powerful magic. “Oh…Norns…” She swallowed and then looked at the little boy. “I see your memories and though you do not understand them, I do. She was to call you Loptr. I shall call you Loki.” She turned and frowned at the little girl. “She wished to call you a Midgardian name in honor of their conquering the planet.” Wincing at that, Frigga exhaled slowly and then nodded. “Very well, I shall continue her wish and call you Antonia.

~1,098 years later~

Toni stared at their sleeping fake father before staring at their mother. Loki was wanting to lash out, but she wasn’t of that mind. She stayed her twin’s hand and spoke to Frigga. “What do you want of us? What can we do to prove to you that we are not the monsters of our kin? How can we prove to Odin that we are more than our race?”

Frigga stared at her, stricken. “Are those your thoughts? Loki?” He wouldn’t look at her. Toni stared at her brother, their magical twin bond allowed them to convey thoughts, emotions, and even the faintest of physical sensations. Because they were twins, they were the most powerful mages in the history of Asgard. Frigga exhaled, knowing that as long as they had each other, and were  _ together  _ when they faced her, then Hela would not stand a chance against them. If they were separate, Hela would destroy them. 

Shaking those thoughts away, Frigga spoke softly. “There is nothing you must do to win my love and loyalty. And your father loved you both the moment he took you from Jotunheim. He claimed pragmatic reasons of intrigue and politics, but I knew his heart. Now, you must go to your brother’s side and explain to him what has happened. Tell him the truth. Both of you must tell him the truth.” Frigga truly feared what would have come of Loki had his twin not been with him to ease the loneliness and bridge a friendship between Thor and Loki. The siblings were inseparable, but Thor was still…brash and foolish. “You are to stay with him until Odin wakes.”

“Mother! You are banishing us as well?!”

“Nay.” Frigga stood up and smiled at Loki, waving her hand to open the golden doors. “You can come and go, but Thor is lonely there, and prone to get into trouble. Keep him safe. Keep him alive and make sure he doesn’t get arrested.” Frigga gave Loki a look. “But, if you want to think of this as a punishment, then think on this, perhaps if you have doubts about the coronation, you should stop it in a less…outlandish way?”

Both twins blanched at being caught out. “The guards that died- We didn’t want them to- We didn’t think-” Toni was near tears. Frigga kissed her softly upon the forehead. 

“This is your punishment. Guide and guard your brother, for as long as he remains in banishment, and after…” Frigga’s warm smile banished. “Guide and guard Midgard for I have seen things in my loom…in my sleep…in the smoke of the future. I have seen war and terror.” She smiled faintly. “They will need Avengers, and you both are to go with your brother alone when the time is right.”

“Mother?”

“Go on now.” She kissed Loki as well. “Stay safe.”

The twins vanished. Of course, when Toni saw the young mortal male with glasses working with Thor’s latest lover, she smiled slowly. Loki saw her smile and winced. “We are here to guard our brother through his transformation until Father wakes.”

“Yes. Yes, we are.” Toni smiled slyly at suddenly very interested mortal. “Doesn’t mean we can’t have fun on the side.”

“Sister, you are almost as bad as Thor. Falling in love with mortals! Honestly!”

“Who said anything about love?” Toni huffed and then lazily approached the man. The man spoke first.

“You’re a mage right? Thor said you were.”

“Yes, I am.” Toni tensed. “Will that be a problem?”

“Nope! Not one bit. Can I ask you for a favor?” He dipped his glasses lower on his nose.

“Of course.”

“Can you conjure my iPod from those Suits? They abducted Charles, and I want him back.” Toni grinned and snapped her fingers and the iPod was in her hands. Daryl Lewis beamed at her. “Thanks!”

“You can thank me better by giving me a kiss.” Toni smiled at him.

He blinked at her and then arched an eyebrow before shrugging and pecking a kiss on Toni’s cheek. Pulling back, he winked. “I don’t get chased, Princess. I do the chasing.” With a jaunty wave, he walked away. Toni gaped. 

“He resisted me?!”

Laughing, Loki swooped in and grinned at her. “Sister, sister, sister, can it be that you’ve met your match?! Is there a male who hasn’t fallen for you immediately upon first flirtation?”

Thor appeared on her other side and grinned at Loki, despite his own predicament. “Oh Toni, you’ll be finding Daryl a very hard man to pin down. He always flirts, but he never falters. He plays- as the Midgardians say it- for keeps. He won’t be interested in you.”

Toni gave both grinning brothers a scathing glance and sniffed. “I’ll get him on his knees eventually, Brothers.”

“Not unless you play for keeps!” Daryl’s voice floated teasingly over to her from inside the building. Toni grinned. 

“We’ll see.” Of course…two weeks later Toni caught  _ feelings _ . 

Loki could  _ not _ stop laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very long fic, but hopefully it was worth it. ; D Thanks for reading!  
> Ink...


	29. Broomstick (Hogwarts AU: Darcy/Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy learns how to handle a broom. ; D

“It’s simple.” Tony grinned at his girlfriend and called the broom to his hand. “You have to have confidence and you have to assert yourself, but assertion is not frustration. Assertion is a confident and forceful behavior or statement or belief. Frustration is the feeling of being upset or annoyed especially because of an inability to achieve something. It’s perfectly normal to be frustrated after abysmally failing today’s flying class, but-” The Slytherin girl glowered at the Ravenclaw boy. 

“Why am I dating you again?”

Tony blinked at her in surprise. “Because you love me? You said so on twenty-nine separate occasions.”

Huffing, Darcy turned and focused on her broom. She narrowed her eyes.  _ There has to be some way to get it to obey me… _

Grinning, Tony looked over at Clint Barton. He was also struggling with getting his broom up. The Gryffindor was now screaming obscenities at the inanimate object. “Perfect example of frustration and not assertion.”

Darcy snigged at the boy’s red-faced, rage-filled look. 

Calling out the Gryffindor, Tony smirked. “Don’t worry about it, Barton. I’m sure your girlfriend will forgive you if you can’t get it up.”

The surrounding students roared with laughter. The loudest of the bunch was Thor, another Gryffindor student, Prefect actually, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a sense of humor. His brother, a Slytherin Prefect sniffed and then called for quiet and focus. They were having a PE study hall for students needing to practice flying and such. Hogwarts' curriculum had changed since the ancient times. Now they had PE and such. Darcy didn’t think it was such an improvement.

Suddenly though, she stared at Barton and then glanced sneakily at her boyfriend’s crotch. Assertion huh. So how does she usually feel when seducing him away from his books and projects? Oh. That’s right. Okay then. With a sneaky little grin, Darcy exhaled and then tried once more.  “Up.” The broom flew into her hand, and Darcy beamed at Tony. He pulled her into a congratulatory kiss before gesturing to the broom. 

“What helped you?”

“Imagining it was your cock I was trying to get up instead.” The Slytherin girl smiled as Tony gaped at her. Tony had been a player at school for the longest time before Darcy tagged and bagged him (she often described it as such and it was actually frighteningly spot on to what actually happened). It was only his past exploits that stopped him from spluttering and flushing and showing his shock. When he got over his initial embarrassment, he grinned at her and pulled her into another kiss. 

“Then what do you say we forget this study hall and head to that abandoned corridor down near your dorm.”

“That’s the best idea since the invention of the Muggle taser.” She kissed him again and then dragged him into the castle.


	30. Pumpkin (SoulEaterAU; Witch!Darcy/Meister!Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has always been known for breaking the rules. Sometimes that's a good thing.

“Pumpkin! Pumpkin! Pumpa, pumpa pumpkin!” Darcy laughed as she sang the obnoxious song her pet cat familiar, Blair, sang all the time. 

Tony cursed as he ducked the spells lobbed at him from the witch. Jarvis and Friday- his gun type demon weapons- were firing with everything they had, but it wasn’t enough. They were so close to becoming Deathscythes! Ninety-nine souls done and only one witch’s soul left!

_ “Come on, Boss! We can’t give up now!” _ Friday gasped when Jarvis shouted. 

_ “Look out!” _

Tony cursed as he looked up just when he went flying. Darcy- the witch- landed directly beside him and pinned him down with a spell. She threw a spell at his weapons and somehow froze them in their gun forms. Turning back to Tony, she smiled softly. 

“Alright, time for you to have your soul collected for once!” She threw a spell at him and gaped when it harmlessly dissipated around him. “What?”

He grinned breathlessly. “Never knew girls to have performance issues.”

She stared at him and then sat back on her heels. “Why are you hunting me?” Darcy gave him an innocent pout that fooled absolutely no one.

“Because I need my weapons to become Deathscythes.”

“What happens then? Hmm? After you say bye bye to them and send them packing to Lord Death?” 

“No, no. They become Deathscythes to be used still by me but on call should Lord Death need them.” He sat up on his elbows and exhaled. “But that’s all over now. You defeated me. We’ll have to give up the souls again.”

“You know, I’ve heard of you. You created that energy thing in your chest to block magic.” She tapped it with her finger. Her eyes narrowed. “Not all witches are evil enough to have their souls reaped, Stark. Some of us just use our skills to heal people. That’s it.”

“It’s not what I want either, Witch Lewis.” Tony stared at her. “But like it or not, we need souls of witches for the transformation of the Weapons.”

“Well…” Darcy gave him a slow smile. “I’m sure a brilliant young man like yourself could figure out a way to remove the innocent witch from the equation. I know my friend, Jane, is working on it. She’s also a witch.”

Tony frowned and started thinking about it carefully. “Maybe…”

Noticing that he was actually giving her suggestion some thought, Darcy arched an eyebrow and then smiled suddenly. “Yep, you are a keeper. I am going to keep you from now on.” And with that, she kissed him breathless. “Whelp, happy hunting the kishin souls.” She backflipped away and landed on another roof across the street. “Don’t you dare hunt any other witch but me, Mister Meister Tony Stark.” With a cheeky wink, she waggled her bum and then vanished. 

Eventually, Tony did solve the problem of the missing element that the witch’s soul provided. After that, the witches were gradually allowed more and more freedoms and liberties on a probationary period. The first thing Darcy and Tony did to celebrate was go on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends the IronTaser prompt list. Thank you all for commenting and enjoying the stories so much!  
> It was a joy to write them! Stay tuned for more prompt lists that I'll be posting eventually! : )  
> Ink...


End file.
